Gosh darn it...I hate having to write mashups after my team has been eliminated. But I guess dem's the breaks in the world of fake football.
It's playoff time, MIISFFL-land, and Alvin Kamara getting his bell rung on Thursday must have been the equivalent of a fat lady singing when it came to the ol' commish. We'll investigate further in the match recaps. First, however, let's take a look at the first-ever MIISFFL All Fantasy Team! Since there were no nominees (thanks for nothing fools), this list is what it's gonna be. Love it or lump it.
QB-Carson Wentz (Phi)
RB1-Todd Gurley (LAR)
RB2-Alvin Kamara (NO)
WR1-DeAndre Hopkins (Hou)
WR2-Antonio Brown (Pit)
TE-Rob Gronkowski (NE)
FLEX-Le'Veon Bell (Pit)
K-Greg Zuerlein (LAR)
D/ST-Jacksonville
Carson Wentz is a prime MVP candidate right now, but when his ACL shredded in the coliseum, so did Bruce's playoff dreams. I know that I have moved before that the chances of you winning the MVP increase exponentially if your team makes the playoffs, but it's hard to argue with 14 weeks of success coming up one bum knee short of a playoff berth.
Gurley has been a beast of an RB1 this season, and is a big reason the Rams are having so much success these days, the loss to Nick Foles not withstanding. Running over tacklers to the tune of 269 fantasy points so far this season, and with RB health being at such a premium, his durability has proven to be gold. Kamara was sniped on draft day by the commissioner, and came out of nowhere in the middle of the season after the 'Aints traded former MVP nominee Adrian Peterson to clear space in their crowded RB backfield. Despite being in at best an even time-share with Mark Ingram, he pounded out nearly 7 yards a touch, and scored 9 TDs over a 6 game span before a concussion ended his (and his team's) fantasy season last week.
Antonio Brown was a top 3 pick in the draft this year, and actually lived up to the expectations. It has been rough sledding for top-half-of-the-draft picks like Ezekiel Elliot and David Johnson as injuries and suspensions piled up. Brown basically demanded he get the ball more after a somewhat slow start to the season, and Ben the Rapist obliged. Wasn't enough to get Jeff into the playoffs, but it was fun to watch. DeAndre Hopkins has to be in the MVP conversation as well. When DeShaun Watson was his QB it made sense that he was making stupid catches and scoring touchdowns. Then when his quarterback became Tom Savage...yuck. But he still found a way to scrounge together 242 fantasy points with what might has well have been his grandfather throwing him passes. Impressive indeed.
Gronk has been Gronk all season, and was pretty much what you have come to expect out of Gronk, even including the spear of Tra'davious White 2 weeks ago. That earned him a one-game suspension which Nate easily survived to make the playoffs. Travis Kelce was considered, but too many drops and a sputtering Chiefs offense overall in the 2nd half made the obvious choice the correct choice.
Le'Veon Bell has been featured heavily in the MVP conversations in recent years, and despite his strategy of holding out and refusing to practice at training camp, he still put together another quality fantasy season, especially in leagues where he was the #1 pick. A model of consistency and durability year in and year out, he willed JP's team to the playoffs.
Greg Zuerlein traded hands early and often in the first half season as kickers are want to do, but he eventually found a home with the commish, and had several weeks of multiple long field goals which played a big role in getting the commissioner into playoff position.
If I had a nickel for everyone who predicted the Jacksonville Jaguars would be 9-4, first place, and their defense one of the best in the league, I would be......broke. In what turned out to be a really nice story all season long, the perennial doormat/candidate for contraction ended up having one of the most opportunistic defenses in the league, with a +14 turnover ratio and scoring 6 times on defense alone. They were one of the few quality non-streamer defenses in the league this season that you could trust.
Honorable mentions:
Kareem Hunt-If they gave out All-Fantasy awards early in the season, Hunt would be a shoe-in, but he had some lean weeks in there for a while, but still ended up with good numbers despite that.
Mark Ingram-Probably the fantasy teammate of the year award winner for doing what he did despite hemorrhaging touches to Kamara
Russell Wilson-I think he's still running around looking for an open receiver
Travis Kelce-Maybe he would've made the list if he didn't have the dropsies so much in the last few weeks.
Let's get to the match recaps:
How did the current leader do? A playoff spot already firmly in hand, Zach bulldozed Jeff and the front door of the playoffs pounding him down 154-121 to take the final weekly pot of the season. Hopkins and Gurley solidified their All Fantasy bona fides and got complementary scores from Rivers, Gordon, and Diva Dez, with everyone the team except the kicker scoring double digits. Jeff actually had a great week, but even if he won, he would've needed a miracle to make the playoffs, but this game pretty much took any chance of divine intervention off the table.
Game of the Week: The NFC Championship game came down to Nick and Nate, in what essentially amounted to a win-and-you're-in game. As already mentioned, Alvin Kamara was concussed on Thursday, and it was all downhill from there for the commish. Nate had to survive Gronk's suspension, but all the breaks seemed to be going Nate's way on Sunday. Two Alex Smith touchdowns were taken off the board (Replay and penalty) and Shady scored in the snow in sudden death. Not only did one of Smith's touchdowns come off the board, Kareem Hunt stepped right up to clean up the mess. Even Jamaal Williams got into the act. Nick had a chance getting 4 touchdowns in the 4PM block, 2 by super-streamer Trey Burton, but he needed a 40-burger from Cooks on Monday night, and he didn't get it. Nate is the NFC Champion for 2017! (You suck)
Blowout of the Week: Nick's loss meant that JP only needed to win and he guaranteed himself a spot in the playoffs one season after completing a worst-to-first-to-worst trifecta, a fantasy feat that may surely never be repeated. Bruce stood in his way needing a win of his own to lock down a playoff berth. There was some last minute roster jockeying by both sides as JP decided to start Dak ahead of the Rapist at the last minute and Bruce snipe-subbed out Wentz for Matthew Stafford. Maybe he saw the torn ACL in his future? That move by Bruce turned out to leave 16 extra points on the bench, but it was no matter as Dak doinked the Giants for 34 and Bell made mincemeat out of the Ravens for 35 more to put this one on ice. JP returns to the playoffs since he won it all in 2015 by a score of 140-91, and Bruce is left at the back of the draft pack.
Futility Bowl: Chris needed a win to lock down the wild card, although he could have still made it even if he lost. But he decided to take any doubt out by taking out Patrick 111-67, whose team decided to end their season a week early it seemed. The Ravens saddled the Runners with a -5, but that was just icing on the cake as he had single-digit scores across the board from everyone save 2 positions. Chris was much more consistent with double digit scores across the board from everyone except 3 positions to earn the #3 seed in the MIISFFL playoffs.
This week's other results:
Sean (7-7) defeated Dewey (4-10) 90.54-90.34
Tom (4-10) defeated Kent (4-10) 87-83
Weekly Pot winner: Zach (154 points)
Now let's get to the playoff previews as we inch ever so closer to Menace Bowl IX!
Semifinal #1:
#1 Zach (Mexico's Vickina Box) vs. #4 JP (Bo Knows Techmo)
Did not play each other this season
All time results: Tied 3-3 (Zach leads 1-0 in playoffs)
Zach and JP have been a pretty good interdivisional rivalry over the years, which might mean it's time for some realignment in MIISFFL, and they meet in the playoffs for the first time since Menace Bowl III, which was of course won by Zach in his debut season in MIISFFL with his affair with Cam Newton which has been well-documented here at the mashup. While Zach's dreams of Cam have been a distant memory for a while, he hopes that Philip Rivers can be the super sub he wanted DeShaun Watson to be. JP is hoping Dak Prescott can be the QB from Week 14 and not from Weeks 12 and 13 where he posted negative points both weeks. LeVeon Bell seems to be a common theme in championship teams or teams who came close, being on Sean's title team in 2014 and coming oh so close with Eddie last year (assuming he's healthy of course).
Semifinal #2:
#2 Nate (Krispy Kareem Donuts) vs. #3 Chris (Nice and Smooth II)
Did not play each other this season
All time results: Chris leads 1-0
Tell me if you haven't heard this story before. Chris makes the playoffs and then...thud. This time though things are a little different as he qualifies as the wild card and not the division champ. Maybe that change is enough to cause a big enough change in the cosmos to change Chris's luck when it gets to this point in the season. Nate finished below. 500 in his debut season in 2016, but showed enough spunk to earn an invite back for 2017 and that move paid dividends this season as he wins the division for the first time behind Kareem Hunt and his up-and-down season. Chris has been vanquished in this round of the playoffs twice before already. Will this be the year he exorcises his playoff demons and advances to the Menace Bowl for the first time?
We also have a preliminary draft order for the non-playoff teams:
1) Kent (4-10) Swept by Tom, did not play Dewey
2) Tom (4-10) Swept Kent, lost to Dewey
3) Dewey (4-10) Beat Tom, did not play Kent
4) Patrick (6-8)
5) Sean (7-7) Lost to Jeff
6) Jeff (7-7)
7) Bruce (8-6) Worse division record than Nick
8) Nick (8-6)
As always the playoffs will determine the draft order for everyone else. We will have our nominees for the Fantasy MVP next week and we will recap the semifinals. See you then!
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