TMQ would love this. The football gods exacted vengence on Caputo's Corner this week for his baseball-related behavior toward the sacred game of fantasy football.
HOW DARE YOU SOIL THIS SACRED COLUMN WITH THE FILTH OF INFIELD DIRT. YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MIX INFIELD DIRT WITH THE GLORIOUS GAME OF FOOTBALL...YOU GET THE OAKLAND RAIDERS!
So that must be what has happened to my fantasy team this year. Caputo's Corner has been channeling his inner Al Davis and watching his team put up probably his worst campaign ever. I woudl fire the head coach (with cause)...but that's me so maybe it's time to channel my inner Dan Snyder and hire a general manager. Bobby Beathard where are you?!?!?!
In any event, the football gods chortled as the subjects of our prior two columns, the Baltimore Orioles and Washington Nationals, watched their playoff dreams go up in smoke on Friday night. The Orioles built their reputation of being the team that the Evil Empire just could not quite get to go away. But not quite getting to go away is not the same as rising up and passing them. Several times during the month of September the Orioles would draw even with the Yankees, but could never quite pass them. The Division Series was a mirror image of that month. The Yankees would lead, but the Orioles would catch them. Unfortunately, it was a race to 3 wins and at that pace the birds were doomed from the start. During the hot stove season, look for the Orioles to be in the market for that one ace starting pitcher that can definitely carry a team. Zach Grienke anyone?
You think Orioles lost in heartbreaking fashion, they can't hold a candle to what happened in Washington. After Jason Werth walked off in Game 4 to force a Game 5, the Nationals raced out to a 6-0 lead behind homers from Zimmerman, Harper, and Morse. However, the Cardinals (kind of like the New York Giants) are the defending champs, and you can't be the champ unless you knock the old champ out. The Nats just could not do it. The let the Cardinals just chip away, chip away. Even an insurance run in the 8th inning to make it 7-5 was not enough. Twice...TWICE... in the top of the 9th the Nats were one strike away from victory and a trip to the NLCS, but every two-strike pitch thrown by Drew Storen was called a ball, and the next thing you know, within a matter of minutes, a 2 run lead turned into a 2 run deficit, and the Nats were finished.
Still waiting for the Washington Redskins organization to acknowledge the existence of the Washington Nationals...still waiting.....
As we wait, we recover from our baseball-induced wounds, we get to the match recaps.
Oh my, how the mighty have fallen. Even a halfway decent scoring week was not enough for Ron Antarctica to finally notch a win. For only the 2nd time this year, Zach scores north of 90, but Patrick countered with the Sheriff, Fitz, and Percy to Kinda Run away with it once again over the sort of defending champ. Is is even fair to say that Zach is the defending champ anymore? Now at 1-5, any hope of Zach making the playoffs is just about gone. Yes, I've seen crazier stuff happen, but I need that crazy stuff for ME to make the playoffs, so if it isn't going to happen for me, it won't happen for Zach either. In an interesting side note, and what might be a story line going forward for the rest of the season, Patrick is now 4-2. While Peyton did his job potting 29, that RGIII kid did his dance all over the Vikings to score 36. You would think that with Peyton Manning on the roster, Patrick would have no QB controversy whatsoever, but that kid from Baylor sure is making it tough.
Our spherical soothsayers from Fatties Figure had mixed results over the weekend. Kent posted a score that would have beaten only 3 teams this week. Fortunately for him, one of those teams happened to be Andy, who has taken it on the chin the last few weeks after a very hot start, losing 4 of his last 5. Quarterback play this year has been very much feast or famine this year, and Kent won despite Andrew Luck starving for points, posting a -6. We're still waiting for JaQuizz Green sighting. On the other side, the Patriots blew it in Seattle, Tom Brady was verbally abused on his way back to the locker room, and most of Andy's charges all felt sorry for themselves because of it. "Our leader, Mr. Brady, was insulted! How can we perform as a team when that happens," said one ChipUpDog who wished to remain unidentified.
Speaking of feast or famine, that has certainly been the MO of Patrick Deegan this year. In our first teacher bowl, it wouldn't have mattered if he put out there a gym teacher, figure skater, and a herd of elephants out there against Caputo's Corner. He was going to win anyway. What was so surprising that for the second time this year, Deegan's charges figured it all out on the way to a 156 to (it doesn't really matter does it?) drubbing of the league commissioner. It was 156 to (who cares?) going into the Monday Night massacre, with Caputo's Corner hoping Rivers could just give him a respecable score. Yeah that didn't happen. Meanwhile, Deegan may be just 2-4, but his two big wins (and I mean BIG) have netted him now 2 weekly scoring pots and the overall scoring lead in all of MIISFFL. Now if he could get that sort of production over a week to week basis, he could be undefeated.......
Speaking of undefeated, remember when Tom Back used that as his team name? Perhaps the Techmo Bowl express should consider changing his name to that moniker as he now improves to 6-0 knocking off his Buccaneer bretheren Dewey. Dewey's lamentations over what seemed to be a failed trade last week will most certainly continue as he was hopeful that Roddy White would get his over DA Bears and Peterson would run roughshod over the suspect Skins D. Now sitting at 2-4, Dewey looks like he's headed for the 2013 Draft Board. JP's got bigger goals for this season as he now reaches 6-0 for the first time ever. So I heard that Rogers guy is pretty good. I should know...UNTIL HE GOT CONCUSSED IN THE PLAYOFFS...but I digress. A-rodge hung a half-a-hundy on the formerly undefeated Houston Texans with solid supporting scores from Little Ray Ray and Eric Deckler who both found the end zone. Looking ahead, JP takes on the team formerly known as Undefeated, in what will be either poetic justice, or a sick twisted irony. The plot thickens!
Elsewhere, the Bomb Squad did not recover from last week's meltdown at the hands of Caputo's Corner. This week, Gaz feasts on Jeff who is still licking his wounds from that embarassing defeat last week. Jordy Nelson was the recipient of some A-Rodge A-Bombs, but that was just about all Jeff could hang his hat on. Meanwhile, Gaz is now a very quite 5-1, and in sole possession of first place in the Pub Dogs division, in a nice contrast to the loud mouths over in the Greene Turtles division (I'm talking about Fatties Figure here). Were it not for Deegan's 2 big weeks, Gaz would be in the overall scoring lead, but as it stands, he is only 20 points behind Deegan for that honor right now.
Finally this week, Tom prepares for his Undefeated showdown with JP next week after dispatching Sean to the depths of Caputo's Corner/KSo-ville. Not to be outdone, Tom improves to 5-1 in what is shaping to be a very top-heavy Greene Turtles division. Lost in all of the Undefeated talk, JP's match with Tom next week is for first place in not only the Greene Turtles, but all of MIISFFL. This is not new territory for Tom, who as we all know opened the season 2 years ago with a 7-1 run, capped with a victory over first-place (at the time) Chop Block All Stars (that's IT a name change!). However, as we also all know, Tom's epic collape began the very next week to end his season with a 6 game losing streak. The good news, Tom, is that if history repeats itself, you're good next week and JP should be shaking in his boots. The bad news...well, I won't repeat the bad news for your sake, buddy.
That's a wrap on this week's mashup. Kudos go to our self-appointed and self-deputized Deputy Commisioner and Fat Figurer Kent for starting the MIISFFL Facebook Page! I'll be posting the Mashups there as well as in our weekly emails. So let's take a look at next week!
Zach-Kent (The Fat Man looks to go Nagasaki on Ron Antarctica-Kent, you should get that reference)
Nick-Sean (Futility Bowl featuring a former champ)
JP-Tom (Battle of Undefeated)
Jeff-Patrick Deegan (Does the Mom Bomb blow up in Deegan's face?)
Dewey-Patrick Small (Arian Foster Kinda Runs away)
Gaz-Andy (Another battle of Parkville vs. Northern Virginia)
Thanks once again for all you do to support the mashup. This is a good time to remind everyone that our annual LEAGUE MEETING is fast approaching! November 18th at the Greene Turtle Columbia. More details to follow.
Nick
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