Tuesday, April 8, 2014

3 Pillars of the American Dream: Family and Friends (Lots of them)


In my last essay, we focused on the shifting trend of Millennials away from home ownership toward the inner cities.  Now let me ask you all a different question, but somewhat along the same lines.  How many people ages 18-35 talk to you about the so-called “biological clock?”  This of course assumes you know what the biological clock is.  By the time a woman reaches age 45 (give or take a few years), her child-bearing years are behind her, and the closer you get to that magic number, the number of risks inherent with pregnancy tend to increase.  You knew that already, right?  OK, so with that in mind, it would make sense that people would want to start having kids earlier and younger while the risks are less and the prospects of having a larger family would be more. 

 
Statistic number 1: the average age of marriage now (as of 2013) is 27 for women and 29 for men.  (Uh oh, I better get on that……)  This is up from 23 and 26 respectively in 1990 and 22 and 22 respectively in 1960.

 
Statistic number 2: The birth rate in the USA is down 7 percent since 2007. 


Statistic number 3: 65% of young adults cohabitate at least once before getting married, up from 10% in the 1960s.

 
Seems to me from these statistics that the idea of a family is about as foreign to the Millennial crowd as the house in which they would live.  We could once again talk about this from an economic perspective.  Kids are expensive!  Yet, we beat that horse to death in the last essay.  Regardless of the reason, kids are really on anybody’s radar.  However, that third statistic is rather telling: 65% cohabitation rate.  I may be reading between the lines here, but methinks that they understand the biology of it all quite well thank you very much. 

 
I have one theory as to why kids are not all that popular with the…um…kids besides the economics.  We have all heard the stories of starving children in the third world.  They need our help.  They do.  They really do.  You hear about the terrible stories coming out of places like Darfur and Ukraine, and you are moved to help.  This Millennial generation wants to see the world (as discussed) and all that comes with it (thanks in part to social and news media), so they make these areas more of a priority than a family that they do not yet have.  As a result, the family is put off, and put off, and put off some more.  Some people have even said that kids are not on the radar at all. 

 
“Why would I want to bring children into a world filled with war, injustice, intolerance and discrimination?”


However, everyone eventually reaches an age where you start to hear the biological clock tick.  I believe that it is in everyone’s natural instinct, biological instinct, to want to be a parent.  Whether that is through the old-fashioned way or through a mode such as adoption, people want to be parents.  For some, that idea of parenting takes the role of a religious vocation, but for most that means being Mom or Dad.  What is really shifting is the AGE at which this realization comes to be.  Until that happens, and it is happening later and later, kids and family are not even in the discussion. 


So until that happens, what is the attitude of the Millennial?  This is where social media really starts to once again play a role.  How many of you remember the very early days of Facebook and Twitter?  It was a race to see how many friends you could get at once.  There were people who would have well over a 1,000 friends, and my first question was, “How many of those people have you actually MET, let alone know?”  I took a glance at my friend list on Facebook the other day.  I have at present 261 friends.  By my count of that 261, 10 of them are deactivated profiles and 2 of them are dogs, so that leaves 249 active “friends” that I have on social media.  I made a point as I was perusing to ask myself, “How do I know this person outside of Facebook.”  I was able to answer that question for everyone on there.  Now, whether or not I have kept in contact with these people is another story, but I can safely say that I have actually met or otherwise conversed with in-person everyone on my Facebook friend list.  That number is fairly small compared to some of the mammoth friend counts that I have seen people have on website. 

 
My simple question is why, but that is beside the point.  Once again, we live in an interconnected, instant gratification society.  We also all naturally want to be famous.  Who doesn’t?  If you say you do not want to be famous you are lying.  I know I want to be famous.  Heck, where I work I am already a rock star, but I always say that until you become President of the United States, there is always room for upward mobility.  People want to get their names out there, and Facebook is a quick, easy, and most importantly free (for now) way of achieving said fame.  People have instantly become famous for their exploits on Twitter and Facebook. 

 
Take for example somebody like George Takei (who I do in fact follow on Facebook).  For those of you who might not remember, George Takei was Mr. Sulu on the original Star Trek series.  I know there is an *ahem* community of devoted Trekkies who would consider it abject blasphemy to not know that, but for us not in the inner Klingon circle, we now think more so of Mr. Takei as that guy on Facebook with all the funny nerd jokes.  He has thousands of “friends,” and I wonder how many of them were referred.  George Takei is just one celebrity example, but it is still considered a badge of honor to have that many “likes” and Twitter followers.  Katherine Webb is another example, as she gained almost over 100,000 Twitter followers overnight after Brent Musberger ogled over her during an Alabama football game.  Until then, how many people actually even knew AJ McCarron had a girlfriend?


Back in the day, “making it” was performing on the Ed Sullivan Show or something like that, but even then you had to actually *do* something to earn that fame.  All Katherine Webb did was successfully distract a chauvinistic football commentator and a cameraman. 

 
Now think about this.  You just had a lousy day at work.  You got chewed out by your boss.  You sat in traffic for an hour and a half.  The barista at the coffee shop could not even make change for your $10 bill and the credit card machine was broken.  You finally arrive home and you see 2.8 (OK, maybe not the .8 but hopefully you get the reference) smiling faces under 4 feet tall whose world you just made simply by walking through the door.  They run at you (and maybe even Rover too) and nearly knock you over in their excitement. 


Then they ask you, “Mommy/Daddy (whichever applies to you), can we have pizza for dinner?!!?”

 
Only in America 


Regardless, does not that sound like something that would just make your day?  I am not trying to guilt trip anyone into having kids right now, not in the slightest.  Nor am I criticizing those who have thousands of Facebook friends and Twitter followers (OK, maybe just a little).  All I am asking is whether or not that might put a smile on your face.  Would it? 

 
Next time, we will discuss the third Pillar of the Millennial American Dream, which in my opinion really encompasses the first two exquisitely: securing retirement versus doing what makes you happy.  Thoughts? 

           

 

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