Annnnnnnnnnnnd we're back!
The 2018 campaign marks the 10th season of MIISFFL Fantasy Football! This also means we will only have 6 open slots for names on the trophy after this year...uh oh........ To everyone who has played in the league for all 10 years, we salute you! We also salute those of you who joined later, but not quite as much. The offseason this year was filled with all kinds of political strife, new policies, and attempted new policies. Kaepernick is hawking Nike, Serena Williams is chewing out umpires, and Trump always has something to say about it. "Get that son of a........." Oh yes, there's a hurricane coming, and I'm not talking about the Miami kind. California is on fire. Puerto Rico isn't. MIISFFL realigned the divisions for the first time since 2011. Priests are pedos and the 2020 presidential campaign officially started at a Supreme Court confirmation hearing. So basically everything is perfectly normal.
This year will be different as they all are, but your humble correspondent is in the midst of not only finishing an academic certification this year, he's also planning for another type of engagement. Oh wait that part already happened. He's gettin' hitched. So while I have every intention of keeping you all up to speed with the goings on in the fantasy realm, please do forgive me in advance if I end up missing a week or two here and there. Let's get right to the Week 1 highlights.
How did the champ do? Zach became the first two-time winner in league history last year and is looking to break a disturbing trend for defending champs. In the last two years, the Menace Bowl winner from the previous year ended up pulling up the rear in the standings. Let's just say that Zach's attempt to do a little better did not get off to a good start. His opponent this week was Tom, who for some strange reason is attempting to win the Chad Ocho Cinco award for most trash talk in the preseason, not to mention also trying to win the Ryan Bloom award for most attempted dumb trades. For one week anyway it paid off as Zach as turnovers kept his score down, save for Julio who went off on the opening Thursday. Tom got three 20-point performances buoyed by a 38-spot from Brees who lost a shootout to Tampa and Tom starts the season with a win for the first time in a long time by a score of 144-102.
Game of the Week The commissioner has never defeated Chris and was looking to break that streak on opening weekend. Thanks to the divisional, he gets two cracks at it, and for a while the first attempt looked promising. CRAAAAAACK! That sound you here was a lightning bolt in Miami causing another weather delay. CRAAAAAAAAACK! That louder sound you here was another lightning bolt. CRAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! That last sound you here was Delanie Walker's ankle. Done for the year. In a trifecta of terror, Baldwin tore his MCL and Stafford was...well...trash but he got hurt too on Monday night. Add it all up and a strong draft for the commish ended up not doing the trick, despite a 40-burger from Kamara. Chris backed up that 40-burger with one of his own from Tyreek Hill, who I don't think can be tackled. Ever. Everybody else on his roster scored at least 9 points or more to turn what was a close game for a while into a 152-125 mini-rout.
Blowout of the Week Poor Patrick. Missed the draft, but he had the nice thought to call in his first round pick. What does he do when the games start? He stars the New Orleans defense (insert maniacal laugh track here). Why would you do that?! My next door neighbor's twins could play better defense than those chumps. To add insult to injury, he started the Saints' running back...the other one. Gillislee rewarded him with a fumble and he didn't see the field again. Meanwhile, Bruce turned in a strong draft, including picking up Adrian Peterson off the scrap heap, and he was rewarded with 176 all-purpose yards and a score. A late fumble that shouldn't have happened could be a harbinger of things to come though. Bruce also ended up with the defensive pick to click in Baltimore, despite being a homer pick. He scores the 137-60 domination.
Futility Bowl Every year there's always some game that ends up not living up to expectations. This year it was the Buccaneer Bowl. Does anybody seem surprised? The matchup between the 2015 and 2016 champs lived up to the billing as Dewey didn't even make the draft, relying on Kent and Zach to make picks for him. Sabotage anyone? Now that the "Real League" is officially defunct, Dewey and Kent can focus their attention more on MIISFFL, but Dewey certainly didn't show that on draft day. Fortunately he got JP, who if recent history is any indication, is due for a down year since he made the playoffs last year. Dewey ended up with the 91-78 win thanks in large part to Mike Evans. JP watched him score and was conflicted. Leonard Fournette left the game with an injury and he started to cry inside. Meanwhile, Dewey will just tell the press this week that he was making sure his guys got through the week healthy knowing who the competition was. This was their only meeting for the year, but......shots fired?
This week's other results:
Kent defeated Jeff 153-123
Sean defeated Nate 109-90
Weekly Pot Winner: Kent (153 points)
Kent would probably be upset that I didn't do a recap of his game the week he wins the weekly scoring pot so I got one for him. Kent takes advantage of Tom to score the first two picks in the draft, but while Le'Veon is nowhere to be found, James Conner can't beat the Browns by himself. Party at Zach's!
'Till next week.
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