HALLELUJIAH!!!!!!!
That's right, ladies and germs, the Menace Mashup and the Menace II Sobriety Fantasy Football League is back for its 3rd year of fake punts, fake field goals, fake handoffs, fake injuries, and fake referees. We had quite an exciting offseason as we have made quite a few changes, and got to meet some new faces. I'm sure everyone is so eager to know about some of the changes that have made America's premier fake football league so much better for the 2012 campaign. Let's take a look:
Our stakes have increased from $25 to $40 buy-in, which has increased potential winnings and pot distribution. This season, our champion will receive $250, our runner up $100, and we will also be paying a special bonus to both the overall scoring champion ($60) and a $5 per week pot to whomever earns the high score for the week.
Our draft took place over Labor Day at MIISFFL (and Caputo's Corner HQ) without the aid (or hindrance) of Yahoo's live draft system. Yes, folks, we did this whole sucker analog, and it was a blast. Look for it to be new and improved next year. In addition, you will be seeing the letters FAAB throughout the course of the mashups. Yes, we have instituted a free agent acquisition budget system for waivers. This means that anybody can pick up a player off of weekly waivers...if the price is right! And how could I forget keepers! This year, each player was allowed to keep a maximum of 3 players off of last year's final roster, but it cost 2 rounds of draft position per player to do so. You will be seeing me refer to keeper players as well throughout the year.
Finally, we bid adieu to both Matt and KSo who moved on to bigger and better things. Kent was especially upset over the departure of KSo because he felt a strong urge to kick him (hmmm...if I recall correctly, wasn't it KSo who kicked Kent last year?). We wish both of them well as KSo heads back to Guam for another year and Matt builds a robot. In their places we get to meet two new suckers...I mean players who will be taking the MIISFFL plunge. Let's meet them.
Taking KSo's place is Andy (ChipUpDog). Andy comes to us by way of Tom Back (XFL-It's Extreme). Andy is a big time Ravens fan, but was suspiciouisly wearing an Orioles shirt at the draft. Under normal circumstances this would be deemed unacceptable at a football event, but since the baseball teams are actually contending for a pennant this season, we allowed this breach of fashion etiquette. Andy also likes Johnny Walker scotch...just saying.
We also welcome Dewey (FosterAustrarianforBeer) to the MIISFFL fold, taking over Matt's spot in the roster. We already know a little bit about Dewey becuase he is the commissioner of the Real League that Kent loves to rail about. Dewey has never referred to his league as the Real League and has even proposed porting his league from ESPN to the dreaded Yahoo because of Yahoo's free agency settings. As Kent recovers from his anyuerism, we learn that Dewey is a big Bucs fan (much to JP's delight) who might or might not like scotch.
Let's take a look at the divisional alignments:
Pub Dogs Division: Nick, Pat D, Pat S, Gaz, Sean, and Jeff
Greene Turtles Division: JP, Kent, Dewey, Zach (defending champion), Tom, and Andy
Now...onto the first edition of the match recaps!
HOWEVA! (Cue Stephen A Smith) Yahoo is doing its own version of match recaps...ignore anything they say. The OFFICIAL match recap will always be right here at Mashup. They ripped off my idea.
We alwasys start our match recaps by taking a look at how our defending champion did during the week. This year, our defending champion is Zach, who took over MIISFFL by storm in his rookie campaign, despite losing the division title to JP in Week 14. Last year in week 1, Zach lost by 3 points, but did so putting up 149 last year. Like last year, Zach lost, but that's about where the similarities end. Zach gets destroyed by Dewey, in by far biggest blowout of the week. Dewey earns this week high score award and $5 back from his original $40 buy in thanks in large part to double digit scores across the board. His team's namesake (Arian Foster) led the charge with a solid 20 with help from the Texans defense, posting 26 over a hapless Miami Dolphins squad. Zach is left licking his wounds as his title defense takes a big early season hit with the injury to Fred Jackson, a critical keeper pick from the draft. Rashad Jennings was also injured meaning that Ron Mexico is left with Ben Jarvus Green-Ellis as his primary ball carrier...scary times indeed for the defending champ.
It was not a good week for prior champions across the board as our 2010 winner Kent (who decided to deputize himself this year as "deputy commissioner") pinned his hopes on Wekler and Deckler. To translate, he drafted Wes Welker and traded for Eric Decker before the draft. These shrewd moves paid off in a listless 77 point effort. JP, Kent's week 1 opponent from last year, took solid advantage posting 126 en route to the big win. Aaron Rodgers may not have put up the massive numbers we've all been accostomed to, but balanced scoring across the board was the big story here. 22 from Ray Rice on Monday night was just rubbing salt in the wound. As for Kent, any hopes at a comeback were dashed when Cincinnati simply took the field on Monday night, deducting Kent's score by 2. Who knew the Ravens had an offense?
We all knew the Ravens can play defense, but by the time they did, Caputo's Corner was already up the proverbial creek sans the proverbial paddle. Gaz and Nick played in a futility bowl last year, but Gaz's effort was anything but futile. By the time the Ravens posted 25 points, Gaz had already sealed up the win thanks in part to 24 from Andre Johnson and 23 from Brees (and that was a BAD game from him). Caputo's Corner was chided at the draft for taking Adrian Peterson in the first round...and the AP went off...and I left him on the bench. Who did I start? Toby Gerhart. And what did he do? Nothing. I'm not blaming my draft, but knowing my luck I start AP next week and he blows out his OTHER knee.
New guys stole the show this week as Andy makes an opening week statement with a 134-80 win over Patrick. Now, this is why I know the Yahoo "recap" is garbage. They "lamented" that Patrick left RGIII on the bench having had the 2nd highest point total in the league in week 1. While that may be true, Patrick didn't exactly start chop liver in Peyton Manning, and the difference between the two was only 9 points. Fellas, I don't think I need to tell you that your fair and balanced match recap analysis is only right here at the Mashup. That's not why Patrick lost. Patrick lost because he got -2 from Patrick Wilson and a bagel from Isaiah Pead. On the other hand, Stevan Ridley, Brandon Marshall, and Pierre Garcon all led the charge for the ChipUpDogs all scoring over 20 points. Last season, new guys took the league by storm, and if week 1 is any indication, it looks like that theme will repeat itself.
Believe it or not, there were a couple of close matches this week. One of them featured Tom and Patrick D, as only 7 points separated the two of them and if AJ Green (Patrick's only keeper) had found the end zone on Monday night, this one might have gone the other way. Patrick was done in despite owning the fantasy stud of the week in Matt Ryan, who led all scorers for the week with 36 points. Tom may have been biting his nails on Monday night, but felt confident in his Sunday performance with big scores from Lance Moore and the Jets defense.
Finally, Jeff is relegated to the final match recap...again. However, this time it is well worth the wait as the team that is notorious for losing despite big scores finally gets a big win over Sean. Sean was favored to win this matchup by 15 points, but it was Jeff that got overachievements from the likes of Romo, Wayne, and Kevin Smith. The mom bomb looks to be in good shape for the start of the season and a repeat of his scoring title from 2010. Sean also received balanced scoring across the board, but had Colston and Nicks simply hit their target scores, he would have won going away.
That concludes the first edition of the Mashup for 2012. Keep it right here for all of your fake football needs! Looking forward to week 2, we feature here at MIISFFL:
Kent-Tom
JP-Andy
Patrick S-Jeff
Patrick D-Sean
Nick-Dewey
Zach-Gaz
It is my pleasure as your faithful commissioner to bring you all of the news and highlights from the one fantasy football league that matters: MIISFFL 2012!
Nick
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