Menace Mashup 2012: MIISFFL Week 2

It has always been this commissioner's goal that we establish competitive balance here in the world of MIISFFL.  Couple that with our normal referees' simply outlandish desire for more milk bones, I have decided to lock out the ordinary referees (that means you, Dr. Jack Shephard) and replace them with a bunch of zebras.  No really, there are actually zebras officiating the fantasy football matches this year. 

I'm not kidding you. 

Meet Steve, the referee from this week's Zach-Gaz matchup.

Steve comes to us from the Division 4-BB Fantasy Frontier Conference based in Zimbabwe.  His refereeing experience is like most other scab replacement referees.  He may not know the rules very well, nor can he manage the game well, but he's cheap, non-union, and has 4 legs.  During the offseason he likes to run in herds in open fields, trying to avoid attacks from Weklers, Decklers, Never Nudes, and Austrarian Beer Mongers.  So let's see how Steve performed in his assignment this week. 

In a gross oversight, your commissioner sincerely apologizes from not removing Steve from the Gaz-Zach matchup.  His Facebook page clearly indicates a bias toward the Never Nudes.  This bias was on display in the matchup as our defending champ posts a score even lower than last week.  Steve paid Eli Manning something extra to make sure Victor Cruz was thrown at early and often this week.  The result was 31 point explosion.  Similar shady dealings were in place in Buffalo as CJ Spiller ran roughshod over the patchwork KC defense for 32 more points.  Payments were ready to be delievered to Antonio Gates, but they turned out not to be needed.  On the other hand, Ryan Tannehill was paid big bucks to annihilate the Raiders secondary, and he did not disappoint.  Steve's assignment next week is the JP-Sean matchup.  Both are hoping that the commissioner and Jack work out their finanical differences.  Oh yeah, Gaz wins the scoring pot for this week too because of that. 

Elsewhere, Steve's allegiance toward the Never Nudes paid dividends for Kent.  Somebody had to throw those passes to Cruz.  Eli Manning dropped a 30-burger on the Bucs, and was rewarded for his effort by getting tackled on a kneel down.  Your commissioner is still trying to find out which zebra ordered that hit, but there will be consequences.  Tom put up a lackluster effort, only totalling 72 points, grossly missing his projections.  Kent did too, except for Eli.  Kent smack talked that he beat Tom easily with only one half from one of his workhorses (I'm assuming Wekler or Deckler)...but looking at his box score it looks like Wekler got 12 points and Deckler got 7.48.  Your commissioner has commissioned a study using money that should be being paid to referees to investigate how that comes out to one half from one of his workhorses. 

Speaking of Caputo's Corner...it was the commissioner's bowl.  Most of the league should be happy to know that he lost again.  This time, Dewey was the victor.  Although Dewey did not put as good numbers as he did in week 1, and he needed Demaryius Thomas on Monday night, a very respectable 127 puts the 09 champ down for the second week in a row.  Roddy White did his part to make it interesting on Monday, but a donut from Robert Meachem spells a trip back to the waiver wire or the trading block.  Dewey is now 2-0 and in very strong position in the Greene Turtles division.  Kent's Real League magic might have been moved over to the Real League commish.

Andy could not duplicate his week 1 performance as JP used 35 from Reg-gie Reg-gie Reg-gie Bush to upend the ChipUpDogs.  Aaron Rodgers was saddled with a 1 point performance on Thursday thanks to a bevy of sacks, and Randy Moss was MIA (again) in San Francisco, but solid scores from the rest of the positions helped JP eclipse the 110 point barrier.  Andy got big scores from Danny Amendola and the kicker, but if you rely too much on St. Louis Rams, you're going to get burned (Yes, even if they are playing the Deadskins).  Will Andy be taking a trip to the Waiver Wire this week?  Or the better question might be which Zebra will Andy be able to pay off for his matchup with Zach next week?

Robert Griffin III may be this season's fantasy MVP, but it's hard to win for your team if you are on the bench.  Patrick Small is in quite a pickle.  Do you start him over Peyton Manning?  In week 1, the answer was simple, but in week 2, it got a little more dicey.  Jeff dropped the mom bomb once again on the sorta runners, but that wasn't the story of this one.  It's now "Will he or won't he" bench Peyton in favor of Griffin?  Peyton threw three picks in the first half.  He ended up with 2 scores, but with a score of less than 1, and Griffin posting 30 (again), it is intriguing.  It might not have been enough to win this matchup, but Patrick might be becoming a big time Deadskins fan.  After all, he did spend nearly half of his FAAB budget on a rookie running back in a Mike Shanahan backfield.  For what it's worth, Alfred Morris did have 89 yards on 16 carries, so it looks like he IS going to be the guy back there...for now. 

Finally this week, Sean quietly, and unknowingly, dismantled Patrick Deegan's Field of Schoolers, missing out on the weekly pot by a mere 4 points.  While Eli was chucking it to Cruz, he decided to share the wealth by targeting Hakeem Nicks.  The homer pick in the draft paid off to the tune of 33 points.  Meanwhile, 21 from Mattie Ice on Monday night was not nearly enough for Patrick as he falls to 0-2 (making it not a good start to the season for teachers).  Sean supplemented his score with nice supporting role performances from Captain Canine (Vick) with 20 points and Sproles with 23 points.  Perhaps Sean will be a player in the Pub Dogs this year.  Performances like this one go a long way.

Thus concludes week 2 of the OFFICIAL match recaps for MIISFFL 2012.  Don't count out the 0-2 teams just yet.  Don't forget that Gaz came back to win the division from 0-3, and Zach blew a 3 game lead to lose the Greene Turtles in week 14.  Yes, folks, that includes me!

The matchups for week 3 are:

Zach-Andy (Chance for the new guy to kick the champ while he's down?)
Kent-Jeff (Will the mom bomb blow up the Wekler Express?)
Nick-Patrick Small (The Skins fan takes on the Redskins)
JP-Sean (A chance for the Unknown Quantity to become really known)
Patrick Deegan-Gaz (Victor Cruz is scouting the next replacement ref for his team)
Dewey-Tom (Extreme Austrarian Fun)

On behalf of Steve, and every other zebra that dared to work for MIISFFL on the cheap this week, this is your cheap commissioner, signing off.

Nick