We have reached the pinnacle, the apex, the top of all fantasy ladders. The one match to determine who wins the whole enchilada in the world of fantasy is upon us. It is:
MENACE BOWL V!
Before we get to our semifinal recaps, a brief historical perspective of the first four installments of the Menace Bowl:
Menace Bowl I
In the first ever edition of the PD-GT World Championship Game, the Chop Block All Stars of the soon-to-be commissioner survived a 2-week affair with JP;s Big Buccaneers (Big Deers?) to win the title in MIISFFL's inaugural season. The final came down to Thomas Jones against Chad Johnson. The Bengals had clinched so Ochocinco was benched and TJ found paydirt twice to complete the comeback.
Menace Bowl II
The second season witnessed the departure of Ryan Bloom after a falling out with former commissioner Kent. I took over and promptly raced out to a 10-4 record. After Kent's upset victory in the semifinal, he had a matchup with Patrick riding Sam Bradford and a rookie Arian Foster to his first MIISFFL title.
Menace Bowl III
After the departures of Brandon and Jeff P, newcomer Zach began his marriage with Carolina Cam Newton to win 10 games and a matchup with JP, who was making his second attempt at the title in the 3rd installment of the championship game. Zach lost back to back games that year to qualify for the playoffs as a just a wild card, while JP snatched the Greene Turtles Division that year. In the grudge match in the title game, Carolina Cam ran away with the victory.
Menace Bowl IV
In what turned out to be a disorganized year for the commissioner (both on and off the fantasy gridiron), Patrick and Gaz emerged from the fog to duel for the hardware. Patrick made a return to the finals after his MB II loss to Kent. Gaz rode the strength of Beast Mode, Spiller, and Victor Salsa Dance to his first title shot after years of playoff disappointment. However, this was the year to have Redskins on your roster as Patrick rode RGIII and Morris to his first championship.
Our history precedes us, it shapes us, it forms us, but it is completely inconsequential to our future! Ladies and Gentlemen, here are the match recaps from the MIISFFL semifinals.
Semifinal #1: Soups On (Eddie) defeated Never Nudes (Gaz) 173-88.
For a soccer (fútbol?) guy, Gaz sure has a knack for reaching the playoffs. This year, his keeper trio of Spiller, Lynch, and Cruz disappointed, but he picked up the slack with the likes of Stafford, AJ Green, and Forte to clinch his 4th playoff appearance in 5 years. Momentum was riding high in this matchup with Eddie, as Gaz completed the season sweep. However, just like in the real NFL, it is extremely difficult to defeat somebody the 3rd time...and Gaz found that out the (very) hard way. Peyton Manning is this year's Fantasy MVP, and while he did not put up MVP type numbers in his game in San Diego, I bet you I can find 8 other fantasy owners that would take 19 from Peyton in a playoff game any year. Fantasy MVP finalist Jamaal Charles picked up the slack. Gimme' all 57 of these...and he barely cracked 20 yards rushing! Charles had probably the best receiving day for a running back in NFL and fantasy history (8 for 195 and 4 TDs). Combine that with 20+ point days from Antonio Brown and Pierre Garcon, and Eddie picked up right where he left off in his scoring title-winning regular season. Gaz didn't have a chance even if his guys did show up...which they didn't. For what it's worth, Beast Mode had 21...and that would've been middle of the pack on Eddie's squad. All of the nude jokes in the world cannot properly describe the beatdown that Gaz suffered this weekend. Eddie looks loaded for bear going into the title game.
Semifinal #2: Unknown Quantity (Sean) defeated Shadynasty Now (Kent) 126-117.
For all of Kent's histrionics, he was the only one in the playoff field who had a chance at winning a second title. As described extensively in last week's mashup, Sean went on a miracle 4-game run just to make the playoffs at 7-7 (surviving a tiebreaking fiesta). Sean banked his hopes on Aaron Rodgers in the draft, spurning conventional wisdom by not selecting Adrian Peterson with the #1 pick. However, down the stretch, Rodgers was hurt and he had to rely on Ben Rape-this-burger. Throughout the day Sunday, Kent did not waver in his optimism as the score swung back and forth. He missed out on an opportunity to open a lead as Decker only got 5 points on Thursday, while Nick Novak hit his projected number for Sean. Sean got a balanced effort led by Julian Edelman with 28 in a losing effort for New England. Kent's other big trade deadline acquisition, Drew Brees, did not live up to his hype, as he wallowed in the negatives for over 3 quarters before desperation passing brought him up to 17, still far short of his projected for the day against a suspect Rams defense. On Sunday Night, Sean had a golden opportunity with 3 Steelers to tighten the screws and put the "misunderstood" former champion away. La'Veon Bell did his job with 19.2, but both Emmanuel Sanders and the Rapist failed to crack double digits, giving Sean a tenuous 15 point lead with Calvin Johnson lurking on Monday night. Megatron had a bad game in Philadelphia the week prior, but most pundits attributed that to the blizzard and 3 feet of snow. Surely in the dome he would put up his usual (projected for at least 18). Sean did have a counter with Joique Bell, but after Reggie Bush scored the first TD, it became apparent that the key to Sean's victory would be the Ravens jamming coverage on #81. Megatron did get open several times in the first half...but 2 inexplicable drops on long seam routes (Johnson's bread and butter route) gave Sean hope, despite him leading the team in targets with 14. In the 4th quarter, the Lions were knocking on the door, and Megatron was 2 yards short of 100. A touchdown catch would surely give Kent the victory, as he had trimmed the lead to just 8. However, the story of the day would not be Megatron, but rather LEGatron as the TD went to a white guy and the Ravens won on a (very) long kick. Shadynasty Now has once again become Shadynasty Nextyear as Sean is no longer Unknown, but gearing up for his first ever title shot.
In a related story, Patrick has already declared that he would be keeping Justin Tucker...a fantasy first.
The title game is set...here is the official match report from the Mashup:
Menace Bowl V
NFL Week 16
Dec. 19-23, 2013
Unknown Quantity (Sean-8-7) vs. Soup's On (Eddie-10-5)
Season series: Eddie won week 5 150-90; Eddie won week 9 134-106
All time series: Eddie leads 2-0
Eddie took the entire league this year by storm, running roughshod over anyone in his path...except for Gaz...until the playoffs, but it should come as no surprise that the team with the Fantasy MVP and his closest rival have made it to the Big Game. Sean's path the finals was slightly more potholed. After falling to 3-7, he made his run and made the playoffs going through the front door...whether or not he was actually trying to is another story indeed. Regardless of his intentions, he put his full effort into the semifinal match with Kent and came away with the huge upset win over the playoff #1 seed. Now the final will be set for the first time ever completely on the South side of the Potomac River, both combatants originally hailing from that gem of urban progress that is Northern Virginia. (Sean currently in DC). In the season series, Eddie did what one would expect to a team that never really competed for a playoff berth before, winning both games by almost a combined 90 points. However, like Eddie exacted his regular season revenge against Gaz, Sean has the same shot in the title game. While Eddie entered as the favorite against Gaz, Sean will be entering the match as a decided underdog (Eddie favored over 3-1 in Yahoo early projections). However, if the semifinals were any indication, Sean will embrace his underdog status and give the odds-on favorite the game of his life. Rumor has it that Eddie could be seen conducting a practice at legendary TC Williams High School late Monday night. Sean has been able to commandeer the Redskins training facility in Ashburn for the week. It didn't take much effort...let's face it, the usual tenants haven't made much use of it this year anyway. It is sure to be a riveting final: David and Goliath, Average Joes and Globo Gym...Abbot and Costello? The whole world will be watching!
That's it for this playoff edition of the Mashup. Next week will be the final Mashup of the season, with complete post-game coverage and reaction from Menace Bowl V. See everyone then!
Nick
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