THE MOST IMPORTANT FANTASY PLAYOFFS IN THE UNIVERSE!
Past winners of this have included yours truly, Zach, Patrick...and yes Kent too. Winners of the MIISFFL playoffs have gone on to great things, including vast victory tours throughout the MIISFFL land, wads of cash, and the most spectacular fantasy trophy ever constructed, better than the Vince Lombardi Trophy, Heisman Trophy, and Stanley Cup combined!
This is the ultimate, currently in possession of Patrick. So hopefully he will enjoy his final days with it, as he was officially eliminated yesterday. More on that later. Unlike the League of FX(X), we do not have an official "Sacko" bowl...good thing. Otherwise I'd win that this year. So we focus on the top dogs. First, let's do the match recaps.
Kent and Tom renewed their grudge match, with Tom looking to earn the season sweep following a week 7 victory. Unfortunately, the only real drama from this one ended up being whether or not Kent (who is quickly devolving into the official MIISFFL villain) would eclipse Eddie for the final weekly scoring pot. Tom opened up an early lead on Sunday behind Marcel Reece and Vincent Jackson, but going into the prime time affairs, he was dead even. Tom had Dez Bryant on Monday, Kent had Brees, Murray, and a kicker. Brees put away the doubt in this one with his first Brees-like performance since being acquired at the deadline, and Kent ends up romping on his way to the #1 seed.
Like Kent, Eddie solidified his position atop the division, taking care of business against the (former) defending champ. Patrick had a performance that resembled the majority of his season: fair to middlin' as he relied too much on Washington Redskins. RGIII and Morris were big reasons why Patrick took the title in 2012. Unfortunately, their talent was lost in the snowflakes, or knee cartilage, or something worse. This year, they play on a team that's 3-10. Patrick didn't quite do that bad, but certainly the rest of his charges failed to pick up the slack. Eddie on the other hand, rode the smooth arm of the old man Peyton Manning, who may very well have won Fantasy MVP this year, together with Alshon Jeffrey, Jamaal Charles, and Shane Vereen to one of the best fantasy scoring seasons ever. Eddie wins the scoring title and is loaded for bear in the playoffs.
In what amounted to an elimination game, Zach and Gaz knew that the winner was in at 8-6. The loser fell into the 7-7 quandary at the mercy of the multitude of tiebreakers. Zach relied on Carolina Cam, who the Superman belt taken away by the New Orleans Defense. All but 1 of Zach's non-kicker positions outperformed their Yahoo projections. Gaz took advantage, in spite of a donut from Ladarius Green and less than 5 from a snow-bound Matthew Stafford. Forte and Andre Johnson found their jungle juice to the tune of 52 points combined. Gaz is staring down the barrel of a 2nd rematch with his Fairfax nemesis Eddie in the first round of the playoffs (or should that be reversed?). More on that to come.
Andy looked to shake off a dismal Week 13 with a comeback win over Commissioner Caputo. A win would have given Andy the last playoff spot considering how the rest of the league fell. Unfortunately for Andy, it was another Andy that helped to do him in. That would be Andy Dalton. The commish started Dalton twice this year. And both weeks happened to be Dalton's two best fantasy performances of the season (coulda woulda shoulda). Dewey was victimized the first time, and while Andy had Tom Brady this time around, no amount of onside kicks could have saved his bacon. Andy falls to 7-7, and while he did sweep Tom to earn 2nd place in the Greene Turtles division, his head to head loss to.........
Sean! You heard it right. Sean. Sean. Left for dead by yours truly in our obituary section last week, Sean would not go down quietly. He needed a lot to happen, more than I was willing to give him credit for, and golly gee willikers it happened. He needed to win (obviously), and have Tom and Andy lose (it happened). All Jeff needed was a victory, and he would've qualified without having to worry about all of the tiebreaking nonsense. Going into the primetime games, Sean had a 90 point lead. Sitting pretty, right? But Jeff had the tools for a miraculous comeback: Sproles, Graham, Colston, and Chokemo on Monday night. Graham and Colston had 3 TDs between them, and Romo threw for 3 more. But, Sproles had a pedestrian effort, and Colston had another TD taken off the board by replay. That proved to be the difference as Jeff put up a valiant effort, but just wasn't enough to prevent Sean for qualifying for his first playoffs since joining MIISFFL.
Oh yeah, in the Buccaneer Bowl, Dewey and JP battled for who would save face from a lost season. Dewey's team showed up. JP's team was halfway to the first tee box. To add insult to injury (or injury to insult), Gronk shredded his knee in Cleveland...much to the delight of the official villain of MIISFFL. Both of these squads will be looking to rebuild through the draft in 2014.
Thus...here we have the playoff matchups for 2013!
Here is the preview from playoff participant Gaz. See if you can figure out who his "Guys" are.
Semifinal #1: Guy who sold his soul to the devil for a chance at glory this year, and loves to run his mouth despite not really impressing anyone since the soul selloff vs. Guy who sold a small chunk of his soul to the devil for a chance at glory next year (definitely not #1 draft pick!), thus hasn't really managed his team in a month, and probably hasn't cared since like week 4 (speculation).
Semifinal #2: Guy who was gonna quit because everyone (literally everyone!) is too whiny and fickle despite having a ridiculous-scoring team, and now that he has a good chance of winning it all wants to stay in (for life!) and kick the whiny guys to the curb (noble cause! [applause]) vs. Guy seeking revenge for last year's upset championship loss, but wrote off his season about five weeks ago (many narrow losses), is now is befuddled how he made it in to the playoffs, and even better, got the draw against his bitter (for many reasons) rival who his team has a habit of exploding all over.
This is the most interesting playoff I've seen in MIISFFL. LET THE GAMES BEGIN!
Semifinal #1: Shadynasty Now (Kent) vs. Unknown Quantity (Sean)
Sean qualifies for his first playoffs since joining MIISFFL, coming in through the front door with wins in his final 4 games, coming back from 3-7 to finish at .500. Sean made waves at the draft by drafting Aaron Rodgers over Adrian Peterson. Rodgers went down with an injury 4 weeks ago, but word on the street is that he is coming back this week, and not a week too soon as Sean's team was already performing well above expectations (save a 72-70 squeaker over Gaz in Week 12). He will need all the points he can get as the villainous Kent comes loaded for bear with Calvin Johnson, LeSean McCoy (Snowy), and deadline acquisitions Drew Brees and Eric Decker. Kent opens as a 5-2 favorite on the Vegas line, but Sean has been bucking betting trends all season. Kent better not overlook Sean, as he has been overlooking opponents quite a bit lately since the trade deadline.
Semifinal #2: Soup's On (Eddie) vs. Never Nudes (Gaz)
Gaz makes a return to the playoffs once again with his statement victory over Zach in Week 14. He faces scoring champion Eddie in what seems like a tall order, but if there is anybody in the league equipped to beat Eddie's Peyton-led juggernaut, it's Gaz. Gaz won in week 1 after Peyton went cuckoo for cocoa puffs in the opener. He also defeated Eddie at the League Meeting despite 1.7 from AJ Green. Gaz will be looking for the three-peat in the semifinals. As Eddie has contended that in both of their matchups this year Gaz was injecting his players with steroids that mysteriously wear off after they have completed their match. A wire report has noted that both Victor Conte, Alex Rodriguez, and Greg Anderson were walking out of Never Nudes team headquarters...and they were both seen attempting to put on their underwear. Take that for what it's worth.
Finally, the mashup would like to re-welcome back Eddie to MIISFFL for the 2014 season. He had previously declared that he would not be returning, but I guess making the playoffs and winning the scoring title has a way with people.
To ensure that the proper Semifinal matchups are had, what I have done is edited team points. I added 75 points to Kent's victory over me in week 13, and I added 200 points to Sean's total from week 14. These changes should be reflected in the league standing within 24 hours. Fear not, I will make sure that the proper matchups are had. Good luck to everyone in the playoffs.
Nick
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