-What is grinding the commissioner's gears?
-Jeff survives by the nubs of the hairs on his chinny chin chin
-Another Percy Harvin touchdown just got called back by penalty
-Kent reminds everyone that he is...well...Kent.
So you know what really grinds my gears?
-Winning week 1 by a fairly substantial margin, only to lose 4 straight and not really be competitive in any of them.
-The Redskins actually hanging around long enough Monday night to actually force me to watch that game to its completion. I was hoping for a decapitation, but ended up with an exsanguination.
-A trip to the desert which historically has always been an easy win for the Redskins...will now be an easy win for the Cardinals. The only question is whether or not they will put us out of our misery quick or slow.
-Eddie basically pleading with anyone who will listen to agree with him that his team sucks and that "THIS WILL BE THE WEEK" that he finally loses. Meanwhile his winning streak is now at 10 (5-0 this season) and he is within striking distance of the MIISFFL record for consecutive wins which currently stands at 12.
-Kent now feeling his oats making sure I remind everyone that he has taken the overall lead through 5 weeks for the scoring title. Oh that's right! The overall scoring title this year wins a hefty sum of $0. HA!
-The very real possibility that there might be stat corrections and this entire mashup will be rendered null and void...at least as far as Gaz and Jeff are concerned (you nervous, Jeff?)
-The fact that we only have 3 weeks left of Sam Adams Octoberfest before they start forcing us to drink Winter Lager...again.
-Chris deciding to buck the very nice trend that I had established by dropping 179 and putting the hush hush on the Extreme Team...oh wait a sec the hush hush was put on them weeks ago.
-A lot of other stuff that nobody on here would really care about. Another fantasy season down the drain.
It seems like the mashup is all of a sudden becoming a place for me to air my grievances. What can I say? Lately there have been a lot. I'm sure you all are looking forward to these match recaps. Well, 6 of you are anyway.
The defending champ kept trying to tell everyone that it would be a "nailbiter" between himself and myself this week. Little did everyone know that despite the bravado (or lack thereof), Eddie had this one in the bag from the get go. Eddie took a lead in the 1 PM block behind the keeper duo of Jeffrey and Brown. Meanwhile, Sproles and AJ no K were once again MIA. I was hopeful that Peyton's TD's would go to Julius and Emmanuel Sanders, and while all 3 TD's did go to a guy named Thomas, the longest one went to that Demaryius dude, much to Chris's delight, and much to my chagrin. Kaepernick and Charles were non factors (again) as the champ will once again think of ways he can lose next week, and I will just...lose.
Speaking of Dewey, I think I just saw ANOTHER touchdown by Percy Harvin called back by a penalty. Lost in the painful dismissal of the Redskins by the Seahawks on Monday night, Dewey had what he thought was a really good chance at a Monday night hammer comeback against Sean, who took a chance going back to the well with his tried and true playbook of Big Blue. Eli was serviceable, but Donnell spent all afternoon in the doughnut shop, not catching a pass. Hey, you can't play the Redskins every week. Sean's love hate relationship with DeSean Jackson continued as he left him on the bench this time, and all he did was 133 yards and a touchdown. If Harvin had been able to actually get credit for those scores, Dewey wins. Instead, Sean will be writing a check to Jeff Triplette and all the zebras from Monday's game in the exact amount of $8.62.
Kent has apparently decided that at 4-1, now is the time to start reasserting himself as the official villain of MIISFFL, but he's doing it in chunks. He took the high road (sort of) following his stomp job over the Extreme Team in week 1, but after taking care of Patrick in a rematch of the 2010 title game, he is now starting to make subtle overtones that he is still in fact the same Kent that grinded everyone's gears in 2013. He scored a 133 this week thanks in large part to 20-packs from Forte, Murray, and Olsen (FROM...the U). Kent seems to have solved the running back puzzle that so far has befuddled everyone else in the league (I guess except for Chris this week). Expect more of the same next week if Kent wins. He'll not only remind us he leads in a category that only wins nothing, but he'll probably find some way to work in that he won a title against this very individual (Patrick)...4 years ago (and nothing since).
Chris was hailed as a "shark" by Kent and Zach before the draft, but through 3 weeks, he was pretty much considered to be just another also ran, failing to crack the 80 point barrier twice. However, he played the commish in week 4, and I guess playing me is the cure for what ails you. As he put up over 150 last week, and bested that total with nearly 180 this week against Tom. I don't think we'll be hearing any trash talk out of Tom again this week as he was once again on the business end of a 100 point pummel job. Only one of Tom's players even hit double digits. On the other hand, Chris got 5 players break 20 points a piece (including Eddie Lacy), and that Demaryius guy I was telling you about put up a 40-burger. If only that had been Julius...but I digress. For back to back weeks, Chris has lived up to the shark reputation. Tom on the other hand, the only extremities he's going to is whatever it takes just to stay out of the cellar.
The competitive portion of JP's season has ended as he Jacksonvilled his way to a 109-69 defeat at the hands of Zach. It seems nowadays that any move JP makes will backfire as all but one of his starting 9 actually made it to their projected point totals for Week 5. Shady McCoy was once again absent as were Torrey Smith, Reggie Bush, and Markus Wheaton. The good news for him is that his reward for starting Drew Brees against his Buccaneers (Big Deers?) is that the Bucs actually played well against him and won the game, sacrificing JP's fantasy hopes in the process. On the other hand, Zach was...eh. Zach just made sure not to make any managerial blunders as his guys made it to their targets, but not much else. In this matchup, that was more than enough.
Finally, in what might be the closest MIISFFL decision in 4 years, Jeff squeaks by Gaz 121.12 to 120.64. That is a 0.48 margin of victory ladies and germs! Gaz was inconsolable Sunday night as he implored his guys to make 1 more catch, rush for 5 MORE YARDS! Alas they would not cooperate. Gaz is back to just brewing beer so he can have something to drown his sorrows in as he now falls back to 2-3. Just do me a favor, and make sure you get some Octoberfest in there! Jeff survives an early injury to Jimmy Graham and 3 other single digit scores to literally escape with a win that might go down in MIISFFL annals as the best regular season nailbiter of all time!
That's it for Week 5...let's see what Week 6 has in store:
Eddie-Patrick (Eddie claims that this is the game Peyton throws 5 picks and Patrick wins by 40)
Kent-Dewey (A classic "real league (sort of)" match)
Zach-Tom (Tom's MO seems to be less talk, higher chance of winning)
Sean-Gaz (Can Sean kick Gaz while he's down after a stunning loss)
Chris-Jeff (If this week is Good Chris, Jeff doesn't stand a chance)
Nick-JP (Futility Bowl...SOMEBODY HAS TO WIN!)
Don't forget to mark your calendars for SUNDAY NOVEMBER 16TH! We will be having our annual LEAGUE MEETING and Rivalry Week! This year, NEW LOCATION! Buffalo Wild Wings in Columbia (formerly Don Pablos). More information forthcoming!
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