Eddie keeps on rollin'
Everyone owes Patrick an apology
Gaz is the comeback kid
Your commish, well, does what he does best...and more!
Last time we were in this position, I decided to toy with fate as I focused my mashup content on a sport other than the glorious game of fantasy football. Needless to say I was smited as not only did the teams of said other sport lose their respective playoff series, but my fantasy team crashed and burned on its was to yet another inglorious finish. So as I watched the beltway teams wrap up their regular seasons with identical 96 win records, I thought to myself, is it worth it to tempt fate and turn the mashup into a baseball column yet again?
Perhaps not...but then again, when you already fall to 1-3 after losing to a guy who twice failed to crack the 80 point mark, who cares what fate has to say?
BASEBALL RULES!!!
OK OK, so before you start throwing assorted pieces of rotten vegetables in my general direction, you have to cut me some slack considering my current position (it was so promising after week 1!). That being said, I will refrain from commenting on the bat and ball sports in what will forever be THE GREATEST FANTASY FOOTBALL BLOG IN THE UNIVERSE!
OK, now that I got that off my chest, I hope we have all recovered from our assorted illnesses. As we will see in the recaps, Tom, JP, and Patrick look to all be fully recovered. Zach, Jeff, Gaz, and Sean all had relapses (Gaz and silly green). Eddie is doing well in his rehab. Dewey came down with something bad (I told you that Dez Bryant guy was contagious!). Kent is on life support, but alive, and whatever that thing was that I had...well, it hasn't gotten any better, and in fact it has mutated into something that turned 80 point teams in to 150 point teams!
This week, draft strategy was put into focus as bye weeks have arrived, and they hit like a 10-ton truck as 6 different teams had the week off. Eddie the Eagle Eye has astutely noted that running backs this year have been cheaper by the dozen. Even the fab 4 that everyone assumed would be
"sure things," have not quite panned out.
Think about it. LeSean McCoy has been the invisible Eagle, Forte has been so-so, Charles has been injured, and Peterson likes to beat his kids. I hear the Vikings are having open tryouts for running back...what do you guys think?
The 40 time wasn't so spectacular, and the vertical jump came up a little short, but maybe with a little work, Eddie can make the practice squad of the Hamilton Tiger Cats! Just remember that in Canada, you only get 3 downs, not 4.
Alright, as you guys can clearly tell, I'm stretching this week. Let's save me some more embarrassment and get into the match recaps.
Eddie may not be in the lead for the scoring title, but for the second year in a row he looks like he's going to run away in the category that matters most: wins...at least for 4 weeks. Eddie's winning streak now stands at 9 (including playoffs). In case anybody was wondering, the MIISFFL record for consecutive wins is 12, set in 2012 by Gaz who ran off the back 11 in the regular season and his opening round playoff game before succumbing in the finals that year to Patrick. More on him later. Eddie's run has largely been on the backs of wide receivers and his Hall of Fame quarterback: Ben Roethlisberger, who will be a charter member of the NFL Domestic Violence Hall of Fame (alongside Ray Rice and Greg Hardy). That other Hall of Fame dude, Peyton. He took the week off. In the offseason, Eddie will be proposing that we do away with the running back position, as of his 115 points, only 11 of them came from his 2 running backs.
...Oh sorry, Dewey, you were this week's victim. Your team would not have beaten anybody this week, so this is the only mention you get in the recaps. Don't forget to drink plenty of fluids, get plenty of rest, and thanks for watching!
Speaking of Gaz, he may not be on a 12 game winning streak, but he was demonstrating the euphoria of one last night as a late Travis Kelce touchdown (in a game that had long since been decided) put him over the edge...barely...to defeat JP 119-118, and keep JP winless in the process. Gaz improves to 2-2 despite totally declaring himself left for dead after weeks 1, 2, and 3! JP looked like he was going to get his first W of the still young season, despite another invisible effort from "Lost in the Shadows" McCoy (1.7 points). Big games from Brees and Martellus Bennett looked to be enough, and when Charles was getting all the red zone looks, JP looked to be safe. Yet a textbook garbage time TD, running up the score, to Gaz's tight end was all it took. JP will be channeling his inner TMQ, ranting about sportsmanship, doing whatever it takes as he is now the last remaining manager in MIISFFL without a victory.
As I mentioned in the open, we all owe Patrick an apology...NOT. Like that's gonna happen. However, Patrick does seem to be getting the last laugh at least right now. Not only does Patrick score a nearly 100 point victory over Jeff (in a preview of their week 11 showdown at League Meeting week), but he takes home his first weekly scoring pot by hanging...count 'em...174 big ones on the mom bomb squad. The bomb was left out in the rain this week as Jeff could only muster 87 points, like it mattered. The key to Patrick's success has clearly been his purge of all Redskins players on his roster (except for Alfred Morris). RGIII? Gone. Jordan Reed? Still on the bench. Lache Seastrunk? OK, so we'll never let him live that one down, but all of a sudden, Patrick now looks to have assembled quite a formidable team as Andrew Luck has come into his own, Reggie Wayne and Frank Gore had huge games (I miss him), and nobody on his squad failed to crack double digits. Is this Patrick's Kinda Revenge from his draft day mockery, or the inevitable flame out about to occur?
Even when your commissioner plays his near optimal lineup, he STILL can't catch a break. Chris has alternated good weeks and bad so far this year, and the commish caught him on a good week...at least good for Chris, bad for me. Chris's decision to keep Philip Rivers at the draft was one of the more head-scratching decisions made that day, but for 1 week anyway it made him look like a genius as it potted him 33 points alone (albeit over a high school team in Jacksonville). Unfortunately for the commish, none of those TDs went to Antonio Gates, and while I held the slimmest of slim hopes for a miraculous comeback (New England defense did their job by swimming in the negatives), Jamaal just could not get enough touches to crack that elusive 60 point barrier, though he did find the end zone 3 times, the same number as the rest of my team did...COMBINED! I'll accept any trade offers now for anybody that does not have a bad case of end-zonophobia!
Elsewhere, Kent has quitely, calmly moved up to 3-1 behind the strength of a 30 point performance from De Property of De Kent for De Rest of his career. DeMarco Murray is making an early season push for fantasy MVP as he has totaled 93 points through 4 games so far this year. He was able to survive pathetic games from Olsen, Crabtree, and Garcon (those rascally Redskins) to lock up a near-40 point win. On the other hand, Zach had far more putrid performances than Kent as Megatron, Ridley, MJD, and Pittsburgh D all failed to exceed 5 points on the day. Even a late garbage time TD from Gronk was not enough to even get Zach close. He now falls to 2-2 but only 1 game back of the leaders in the tightly bunched AFC.
Finally, well, I guess it had to happen eventually. Tom not only got a win, but got a statement victory thanks to a 40 point victory of Sean. For all of Tom's bravado, this is the first week in which he had not uttered a peep on the message boards. Coincidence that this is also his first victory. Vincent Jackson showed up finallly...albeit with only 3 seconds left. Steve Smith the elder stuck it to his former team and Stafford was 7 yards short of 300 despite the dud by Calvin. Meanwhile, Sean is lining up right behind Kent to kick the tires of the New England bus, as he had a chance to close the deficit on Monday night if he got big games from Brady and Edelman. Alas, the only players who had big games in that one were KC Chiefs, and to add insult to injury, the New England BACKUP threw a touchdown pass in mop up duty (to Gronk). 5.86 points left Sean just a little short, and after starting the season 2-0, he has fallen back into the pack at 2-2 in a division where the division leader is 4-0 and not letting up any time soon.
Which leads us into our matchups for next week. Only the Dolphins and Raiders are on bye...which means everyone is available.
Eddie-Nick (The commish gets his crack at the champ...only to be cracked)
Kent-Patrick (A rematch of the 2010 title game)
Zach-JP (JP is finding new ways to lose each week. How will Zach take advantage?)
Sean-Dewey (Sean's got to right the ship fast, Dewey is smarting and ripe for the picking)
Tom-Chris (Tom is the early favorite on the money line...as if that means anything)
Gaz-Jeff (Mom bombs and Never Nudes...it never gets old)
Alright...back to work!
No comments:
Post a Comment