Editor's Note: Due to financial hardships in getting all-new merchandise made to represent our new sensitive team names, we have decided to revert back to the old insensitive names. Lawsuits are pending.
We're in a partying mood here at the mashup this week, if only the scores in the fantasy matchups could reflect that. Dismal scores across the board for the second week in a row are the name of the game. It doesn't help that all the touchdowns are going to guys named Helu, McCown, Bell, and Boykin. All the top playmakers are finding their way to the infirmary instead of the end zone. Case in point:
Sam Bradford-ACL (out for the year)
Reggie Wayne-ACL (out for the year)
Jay Cutler-torn groin (4-6 weeks)
Doug Martin-torn labrum (out for the year)
Nick Foles-concussion (Matt Barkley is available folks)
And that was this week alone. If injuries to these big names are any indication, we might be in for some low scoring games for the rest of the season. Where's the morphine?
But we still love fiesta, just like Rob Gronkowski! See below. And while you enjoy this round of match recaps (as pitiful as they are), crack open a cold one, make some noise, and let your inhibitions go.
The defending champion got himself involved in the nailbiter of the week in a 2012 championship game rematch with Gaz. While this game was not the point fiesta the title game of a year ago was, it did have its fair share of drama. Gaz was bitten by the injury bug as Cutler as all he was able to muster was a -3 (a typical day at the Cutler office as it was) before he screamed "I PULLED M'GROIN!" On the other side of the ball, the Kinda Redskins finally looked like they have returned to form as RGIII posts 28 and Alf finishes 5 yards short of 100 (but with Helu getting the hat trick look out). Nevertheless, it once again came down to Monday Night as all Gaz needed from Senator Salsa Dance Cruz was a measly 9.5. One long bomb and that would do it right? Alas, no bailando para Senor Cruz and no revengencia para Senor Gaz.
Dewey may have put the padlock on his firesale after last week's win over JP, but he is open for business yet again after being bitten by the injury bug yet again. Foles and Martin were KOed, and as mentioned in the open, at least Martin is spending the rest of the season in street clothes. The only bright spot was Demaryius Thomas getting fed by Peyton in Indy, but by then it was too little too late. Caputo's Corner feasted on the wounded Bucks, despite another poor performance from the core running back duo of Mendy and Law Firm. Andy Dalton stepped up big time filling in for Drew Brees on the bye hanging 34 on the Lions. Together with big nights from Decker and Vinatieri, this commissioner was able to run away and hide.
Zach looked like he had returned to form at 4-2 and living large with Carolina Cam back on the prowl. However, grotesque underperformances from Cam and most of his understudies resulted in ugly point totals and a wasted opportunity in this matchup. Zach just could not take advantage of subpar performances on Andy's part as the two singlets on Zach's scoresheet (Foster and Walsh) stuck out like Michael Vick's broken fibula. Andy's squad might not have lit up the score board, but was far more consistent (double digits from 7 of 9 positions). Carolina Cam can't do all the work by himself, and the BigDog slobbered and panted his way to an uninspiring win over the 2011 champ.
In the Sean-JP matchup, the quarterbacks put up huge numbers and were very evenly matched (28 for Rodgers and 27 for Matty Ice). And then the rest of the squad had to play the game...and they played with themselves instead. Scores in this game were highlighted by 0.7 from T-Rich (how's that trade working out for Cleveland now?), 2 from Chicago defense (just could not stop that Redskins juggernaut), 0.6 from B-Powell (3 total touches?!), and 3.8 from Nicks (Eli likes to throw to the other team anyway). However, somebody had to win, and in a battle of determining which squad sucked less, JP takes the title thanks to 13 from the kicker and 17.4 from Gronk. Welcome back, Gronk! El Gronko veredaderamente es fiesta!
Eddie looked to back up a ho-hum win over Caputo's Corner in week 6 with a rout of Jeff in this week's battle for first place in the Pub Dogs Division (and first place overall in the league). Jeff was not too eager to read last week's mashup after his big loss to Patrick, and he won't be too happy to read this recap either as despite 28 from Prince Peyton, Jeff had a golden opportunity to stick it to the 2013 upstart. Here was his stat line: Romo-12.8, Gordon-3, Peterson-6.6, Henery-3, and it goes on from there as Jeff fails to crack 100 for the 2nd week in a row as the former scoring champion has fallen on hard times, crashing from 1st all the way to 5th overall in a logjam at 4-3. On the other hand, Peyton ends up carrying Eddie to the top of the heap at 5-2 perhaps primed to make the kind of run Zach made when he won his title in 2011.
Of course there is always one game that bucks the prevailing wisdom of the week and that was the much-anticipated Tom-Kent matchup as the two combatants were engaged in some well-documented pre game imbibing and trash talk on Saturday night with the commissioner present to...ahem...referee. Both squads backed up their bravado with the top two scores of the week as it was back and forth all weekend, once again coming down to the Monday Nighter between the Vicious Vikings and the Gallant G-Men. While the game on the field left something to be desired, Tom took advantage of the Minny D, Josh Brown, and the Albino Rhino (thanks to a tip from none other than Kent himself) to storm back from 37 points down on Sunday, until himself from Kent's whipping pole, and dispatch the 2010 champ. Ahh, but the game was not without controversy as a Krumble in the 4th quarter by the Minnesota special teams gave Kent the opening to gripe at the commissioner to make a scoring change in his favor. The appeal was denied subject to offseason review. It didn't matter because Tom ended up winning by larger than the margin of that fumble anyway and takes home his first weekly pot of 2013. Kent is left to wonder why he would give Tom fantasy advice.
Surely to be brimming with more controversy, but not necessarily points on the scoreboards, nosotros somos fiesta! Week 8 cometh as we predict who goes out for the season this week:
Patrick-Dewey (Predicted out for season-Giovani Bernard)
Jeff-Gaz (Tony Romo)
Nick-Tom (Russell Wilson)
Sean-Zach (Carolina Cam)
JP-Andy (Gronk-la fiesta termina)
Eddie-Kent (Peyton-Oh what will Kent do?)
The ambulance is revved up as we get ready to call 911 for next week!
Pssssssss...League Meeting is November 17th!
No comments:
Post a Comment