Week 1 is in the books, and I think I can safely speak for everyone when I say HALLELUJIAH!!!! After a summer filled with too much talk of labor strife and contract law and wondering if we would actually have a season, I think it is safe to say that everyone was happy that yesterday happened. Win or lose, we were all winners when we saw the ball teed up, kicked off...and out of the back of the end zone for another touchback.
Across the NFL in week 1, patriotic themes were in full force as we all remembered the 10th anniversary of 9-11. Unfortunately for some teams that think they are America's Team (**coughcoughDallasCowboyscoughcough**) no amount of patriotic fervor could prevent yet another classic 4th quarter Tony Romo collapse as Big D choked away another 14 point lead to Gang Green. Elsewhere, Pittsburgh must have forgotten that training camp ended 4 weeks ago as they got wrecked by Baltimore. A surprise fake PAT that went for a successful 2-point conversion might have rubbed a little salt in the wound that I'm sure Pitt won't forget when they rematch in December. Yet, if Pitt plays like this, maybe they might be looking at entering the Andrew Luck sweepstakes....
...speaking of...oh my how the mighty have fallen. Peyton Manning might very well be the MVP of the league in 2011...without playing a single down. The way Houston systematically dismantled Indy yesterday makes Colts fans maybe start thinking that Andrew Luck is in their future. Combine that with the Shanahan's open declaration in DC that they will be conceding the season makes the race for the #1 overall draft pick in 2012 just as intriguing as the race for division titles and the Super Bowl. We will be following the Andrew Luck sweepstakes closely here at the mashup as well as what you really came here to see...MIISFFL!
It was a week of high scoring in MIISFFL with all but 3 teams scoring over 100 points. Our defending champion, who claims himself to be Supreme Master yet at the same time refuses to acknowledge the actual existence of the very league he won last year, just barely eclipsed the 100 point plateau. Fortunately for him, he played Patrick Deegan who started a woeful Ben Roethlisberger at quaterback (-4.6). Supreme Master ends up schooling the competition, but had to sweat it out with low scores at multiple positions (including -2 from his favorite position of all...kicker). For one week, Supreme Master's talk of the real league will just be loud, not cantankerously loud which will inevitably happen when he loses.
In a matchup of playoff teams from last year, Nick threw down the gauntlet to Patrick Small, daring him to bring on Michael Vick, who as part of Kent's roster from last year vanquished him from the postseason. Be careful what you wish for. In a theme we will notice throughout the mashup, one quaterback came to play in the match...the other did not. In this case, Vick showed up and Kinda Ran all over the sponsor blog to the tune of 187 yards passing and 98 yards rushing . Nick's QB, Matt Ryan, wallowed away in the negatives (-1.2) despite throwing for over 300 yards. Nick saw this one coming though as his quarterback was up against his starting fantasy defense in Chicago. That ended up not being an advantage though despite 33 points because Patrick decided to play the ultimate homer card and start Baltimore's defense to the tune of 34. Caputo's Corner is always on homer watch, but perhaps they should check out Patrick's draft habits...anybody get the number on that truck?
In the all-is-right-with-the-world bowl, KSo tried to channel his inner Bo Jackson, then decided that maybe Justin Forset would be his guy. Perhaps he should just stick to baseball. He predicted his 12th place finish before the draft and got a good head start in that direction putting up a whopping 54 fantasy points. In his defense (if there is one), Matt Schaub only posted 6 fantasy points despite Houston's whooping of Indy, and Chris Johnson only had 8 against Jacksonville, but I guess if you end up playing for KSo's team, some type if mystical force from the pantheon of football gods puts a hex on all 15 guys on KSo's roster. His opponent, Matt, could very well have taken the day off. But instead of channeling his inner Tim Tebow, Matt looked to Shane Falco for inspiration, and to say it worked was an understatement. Matt wishes he could have banked some of those points for grudge matches later in the season against superior competition, but for now, he'll take it.
New guys in MIISFFL made lots of noise in week one. Case in point, the high score of the week came from Sean as he blasted Gaz. Going into Monday night, Sean had a sizable lead, but in the matchup of Brady vs. Bush...Brady won, to the tune of the first 500 point passing bonus in league history to go along with 4 TD passes (including a 99 yarder to Welker that Matt said thank you very much for). Sebastian Janikowski slamming a 63-yard field goal in the nightcap was the final punch to the gut announcing the to world that Sean has come to play in MIISFFL in 2011...unknown quantity he is no longer, and Gaz has to regroup for next week...and maybe put some clothes on while he's at it.
Our final MIISFFL rookie Zach barely stayed under the 150 point mark in week 1, posting 149, but unfortunately for him he ran into the buzzsaw that was JP eeking out a 3 point win. JP decided to channel his inner Bo Jackson as he says thank you to KSo for relinquishing the rights. Techmo Super Bowl will never be the same as JP put up big totals across the board, including 10 points from Green Bay's defense that got shelled for 34 against New Orleans. You know it is going to be a high scoring year when a fantasy defense gets handled...and still nets 10 points for your team. Oddly enough for Zach, what did him in was an injury to the kicker as Nate Kaeding may very well be donezo for 2011. Ron Mexico will be having an open kicking competition this week, so make your way to south of the border and put all that futbol practice to good use...OLE!
Finally, Tom stays undefeated for 2011 with a 14 point win over last year's Greene Turtles champion Jeff. The biggest question in this match was why Jeff decided to start Kerry Collins. The move to bring in Kerry Collins lit his fuse in week 1 and as the Colts imploded, Jeff's bomb exploded. Tom gets 24 from Flacco and 28 from McCoy to score his first win win since week 7 last season and begin his quest for an undefeated season. That quest will surely be put to the test, however, as Tom has yet to begin his slate of divisional games thanks to this year's new scheduling formula. Next week he has Sean, who will surely bring the Brady heat. Don't change that channel, blogosphere.
And there you have it, folks. That is a wrap on the first Menace Mashup of 2011. Keep it right here at Caputo's Corner as we follow all the action from both the NFL and MIISFFL for the 2011 season. I'M SO EXCITED I CAN HARDLY CONTAIN MYSELF!!!
Next week in MIISFFL, we have the following matchups
Kent-JP (A preview of rivalry week)
Nick-KSo (The 09 champ beat KSo in week 2 last year after a week 1 loss)
Tom-Sean (Tom's undefeated quest runs into a Brady buzzsaw)
Gaz-Zach (Coming off losses both, someone will get off the schneid)
Patrick Small-Jeff (A rematch of the 2010 Semifinals)
Patrick Deegan-Matt (Teacher Bowl a la mode)
Till next week...this is the commissioner of MIISFFL, sponsored by Caputo's Corner.
awesome!
ReplyDeleteNick, you're fucking retarded. I don't know why they let you teach children.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I have *NEVER* refuted the existence of the league that exists for me to dominate it. It's like children. Just because your parents love Joe and Laura more than you doesn't mean they "refuse to acknowledge your existence." Just as there is a fantasy football league that has higher stakes, more competition, and means more to me doesn't mean I don't acknowledge this league for what it is - a useful diversion and an arena to trash-talk inferior fantasy footballers such as Queso and yourself.
Secondly, you obviously did not watch the Colts game Sunday - if you had, your assessment of both the "dismantling" and Schaub's poor fantasy performance would have been less, shall we say, incorrect. The game was much more competitive than the final score would indicate. Except for a fluky punt return and two turnovers that gave the Texans 5- and 18-yard scoring drives, the Texans only tallied 13 points, turning the ball over thrice (that's three times, Nick). Two of those turnovers were Schaub interceptions, which, combined with the Colts stout passing defense (even his TD to AJ was tipped by Gary Brackett, making it an excellent example of concentrating on the ball and adjusting to make a catch), accounted for his poor outing. And that is saying nothing about a failed fourth down conversion in the redzone and another turnover on downs in which an Austin Collie touchdown was overturned for reasons passing understanding, as well as an uncharacteristically missed Vinatieri field goal. Even with the two Collins fumbles and the blown punt coverage, the game was much more competitive than people who don't watch and understand football - such as the proprietor of this site, apparently - would have you believe.
Finally, if _I_ had only been spared from two beatings at my hands because of Michael Vick's untimely injury last year, _I_ wouldn't talk so much shit. Then again, you routinely talk a bunch of shit while backing none of it up (shuffleboard, anyone?). Watch the games if you want to make assessments.
Kent, why do you seem to be the only one that has a problem with any of this? If you REALLY are that angry at your status in this fantasy league, why don't you just quit? Seriously, nobody has ever questioned why I teach children because of a stupid fantasy football post. Your priorities are way out of order if THIS is what gets you all riled up on a Tuesday. If it makes you feel better, I won't include you on the mashup anymore. Oh wait, that's right, you don't mind the ribbing as long as it is purely based in scienfically researched and peer-reviewed fact, right?
ReplyDeleteSecondly, let's face it, your Colts got shelled and they looked really bad doing it. Don't give them this "fluky punt return" or "stout pass defense" made the game a lot closer than the score indicated BS. It was 35-0 before they cracked the endzone. In most circles, that's called a domination. You know how many times you've ribbed the Redskins for all this "one player away" nonsense? Now you're in the same boat. Sure you can say that a tip or a fluke here or there could have made a difference, but give me a break, if that had been ANY OTHER TEAM, you would have been the first in line to say that "they suck" and "Houston is awesome" or something like that.
First of all, this is MY league. If you recall, I started it. The only reason you're running it is because I was tired of Ryan Bloom accusing me of changing his score when he lost - a problem with which you no longer have to deal. Anyhow, you're the only one that seems preoccupied with my relationship to my league - every mashup you have to fucking mention it. Get over it! If you were in another league with $1200 up for grabs, I wouldn't begrudge you a BIT for being slightly more invested in it. Jealousy is ugly on you.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm fine with you taking shots at the Colts, and getting that little gleam in your eye whenever their opponent scores - I told Zach a week or two ago that the worst part of this year is NOT a 3- or 4-win year, but rather having to deal with all my friends gleefully cheering for whoever was beating the Colts. But if you're gonna take shots at them, know what you're talking about. Instead of being bewildered about Schaub only scoring 8 points or whatever, watch the game. The Colts defense was not "dismantled" by him, but rather it was quite the other way around. If our offense wasn't listlessly floating along without our helmsmen, it would have probably been yet another 34-20 Colts victory. Admittedly it wasn't. For that, make fun of Kerry Collins all you want. But if you think I'm just gonna let you talk nonsense trash on guys that played a competitive game, for their part, then you've got another thing coming.
Also, the ribbing about the Redskins being "one player away" isn't about the Redskins - it's about Redskins _fans_. In the peak of my NFL-watching career (since about 1996ish), the Redskins have NEVER been "one player away." The ribbing comes from the irrational insistence by their fans, most notably in the form of Nicholas Anthony Caputo, that they are. I've already conceded that this is a throw-away season for the Colts. But if you think Rex Grossman being sidelined would have the same effect as Peyton Manning's, the delusion in the D.C. area has reached all-time highs.
(This is Nick again...blogger is being pernickity) Jealous? Get real, buddy. If you think I'm "jealous" because you play for higher stakes in this other league, then I can't figure you out at all. I am on record saying that I will not raise the league fee past $25 specifically to keep the stakes low. Higher stakes can be more exciting, but at the end of the day, fantasy football is a social game designed for friendly competition. The stakes make it a little more interesting, but if the stakes are too high, you can potentially price good players out of the game because it's too much money. And no, I don't have any burning desire to play for higher stakes myself. If I remember correctly, you are the one who comes to ME for advice regarding strategy and tactics in this league. Remember Shonn Greene and Kenny Britt? I didn't beg to help you.
ReplyDeleteThe whole point of this post is to make fun of everybody (including myself). I can take losses in stride, like this week. I don't crawl into a corner and wish that it would all go away. Me consistently poking fun at your other league is a humor tactic called a running gag, I'm sure you've heard of it. I don't profess myself to be the second coming of Richard Pryor, but if I get something to go with, I'll use it, just like you guys always like to remind me that for one day I was a die-hard fan of the Kansas City Chiefs (BOOOOOOOOO!!!!!).
And, yeah, I know I used to be as guilty as anyone of falling into the "one player away" trap. But as that "one player" has consistently turned out to be a bust, my stance on that has softened in recent years. I had conceded this year as a lost season. If you read my guest post on Josh's blog I am on record saying that my predicted record for DC was 4-12. So any win is a big win this year. And I'm not all of a sudden getting delusions of grandeur simply because we beat a half-strength Giants team. We might very well be 2-0 this week because we play the Cardinals...a team I'm sure you know Cam Newton shredded for 422 last week. But we started 2-0 in 2003 too, and finished 5-11 (NOT VERY GOOOOOOOOOOD!). So take it from me, whether you want to believe it or not, I think I know what I'm talking about.