Menace Mashup: MIISFFL Week 2

A little late today as your humble correspondent had to give a presentation to the faculty this morning, taking away valuable mashup time in the process, but fear not!  Your commissioner may be in an 0-2 hole and licking his wounds after a defeat at the hands of the one and only KSo (how DARE he!), but there is still just enough gusto left this fine Tuesday for another crack at the mashup.  There's always next week, a phrase we hear all too often around these parts after another Redskins loss.  Anyway, despite the fantasy misfortune and the fact that I am only .500 on my picks through 2 weeks, there is still a lot to be excited about around here.  The Redskins have not lost since January...which is more than I can say for fans of ANY OTHER TEAM IN THIS LEAGUE!  OK, so Zach's a Patriot's fan...cue Kent:

CHEATERS!!!!!!

Alright, week 2 may have been devoid of any divisional games, but it did not lack for it's share of moments, as we'll get into with the match recaps...right now!

Speaking of licking his wounds, about the only solace Kent can find in this week's matchup is that the New England Patriots are still cheaters and Chad Ochocinco caught 2 balls this week instead of just 1.  JP does not take his foot off the gas from last week (not to mention joining in the commissioner's continuing running gag of making fun of Kent's...nevermind).  JP improves to 2-0 with both wins in the division and Kent once again reminds us that he won in his...nevermind.  He also made sure to remind us that video games are far more important that fantasy football as 1-1 in MIISFFL just doesn't cut it anymore.  It's time for him to focus more attention on his...nevermind. 

As mentioned in the open, the commissioner is staring down the barrell of an 0-2 hole after an inexcusable loss to the Desert Fox himself KSo.  KSo's dream of a 12th place finish hit a minor bump in the road after squeaking out a 3-point win.  Fortunately for the rest of the league, your fearless commissioner still had it in him to suck in whatever dignity he has left and type up yet another obituary for another loss.  Watching Jordy Nelson streak into the endzone in Carolina was the knockout blow that even 4 touchdowns from Matt Ryan in the nightcap could not recover.  KSo eyes next week's matchup with Sean as opportunit to return to his losing ways, and put up another 54 point that would be a typically strong KSo performace. 

Going into the primetime games, Tom's dream of an undefeated season was starting to look like it was in peril.  Then, 25 points from LeSean McCoy put Tom firmly in the driver's seat going into the Monday night game where Ahmad Bradshaw (it's funny...I miss Ahmad Bradshaw from my team...sniff sniff) outdueled Mario Manningham to give Tom the 11 point win over Sean.  In addition to the defeat, Sean was also introduced to the brutal realities of fantasy football as Jamaal Charles, whom Sean was looking toward for inspriation and even victories, lay motionless and helpless on the turf of Ford Field.  As the cart rolled out to pick him up for transport to the abyss that is injured reserve, Sean realized that if the Detroit Lions can hammer the Chiefs 48-3, he can hammer KSo next week by 60 with somebody not named Jamaal at running back.  Sean, you have officially received yout baptism by fire.  Now go and kick KSo where it hurts next week...do it for the commish, and I might even give you a bonus point (or 2???)

Gaz might be wishing he had a.....nevermind after this week.  Zach does his best Cam Newton impersonation, following up 149 in a loss with 173 in a 50 point win.  Unlike Cam Newton, who had to face the defending champs in his second start, Zach got to face a bruised and battered Never Nudes squad that wishes they had clothes more now than ever before, falling to 0-2.  It's hard to say that Zach undressed the competition, unless you count skinning, which might be exactly what happened thanks to 33 from Stafford, 29 from the Jets D, 29 from Freddy Jackson, and even 27 from Run DMC, who if I'm not mistaken, was taken on Zach's behalf from the good people at Yahoo.  Next time, don't ask questions when the computer takes a player for you...just roll with it. 

Jeff has developed a reputation for being unlucky.  Despite winning the scoring title (and eventually the Greene Turtles division), Jeff still finished with a flimsy .500 record.  Jeff had more 130+ point performances than anybody last year, and still lost 7 times.  That was his problem, he was only scoring in the 130-150 range.  He needed 180, and that's exactly what he got this week, following up a 94 point performance in week 1 that just had to be a mistake.  The only problem was that he was playing Patrick Small...the same Patrick that put the commish to the canvas in week 1.  Patrick plays the role of KSo in week 2 putting up the lowest point total only to run into the buzzsaw in by far and away the blowout of the week.  The commish muses to himself, "Is there any way I can reverse the scores of my opponents from week 1 and week 2?  I'd be 2-0 instead of 0-2.  Wait a sec...I'm commissioner, OF COURSE I CAN!!!  Oh wait a sec, only Bill Bellichick is allowed to cheat and get away with it?  Rats."

Finally, we have another teacher bowl to follow as Patrick Deegan levels his record to 1-1 following a 143-88 win over Matt.  Matt follows up his impressive performace in week 1 with a stinker in week 2, only fractions of a point better than Patrick.  Here's a tip for you from a Redskins' fan Matt: CHRIS COOLEY IS NOT THE STARTING TIGHT END ANYMORE.  The bad news for you is that Fred Davis is already being claimed (I have inside information...what?)...and you're priority on the waiver wire is just not gonna be good enough.  Good luck in week 3 to you.  Patrick on the other hand is back in the game and back in school eyeing an interdivisional matchup with a red hot JP in week 3.

That's a wrap on the Menace Mashup for week 2.  Everything gets thrown all bent out of shape again in week 3 as we have on the docket:

Kent-Tom (Undefeated vs....nevermind)
Nick-Gaz (BASEMENT BOWL!!!)
KSo-Sean (Sean's true initiation into MIISFFL)
Zach-Jeff (The scoreboard might go on tilt)
Patrick Small-Matt (Undercard...sorry guys)
Patrick Deegan-JP (Bo knows Tech-school...I got nothin')

Good luck to everyone in week 3...till then.