Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you for your approval, the minutes from our most recent LEAGUE MEETING, held this past Sunday November 20th, 2011. All times approximate.
12:10-Arrival of Commisioner at GT Columbia. Bo Knows Techmo holding down the fort with 3 tables
12:17-First beer on the way, and a crabby melt for the commish
12:30-Arrival of Unknown Quantity, inquires as to the whereabouts of various other league members. Realizes that Guam is not within driving distance
12:35-Communication with Washington Sentinels reveals potential sinus infection, but does not rule out tardy arrival to League Meeting
12:40-Bo Knows Techmo frantically checks phone to verify status of Frank Gore, only to realize he plays at 4 and his substitute (Torrey Smith) plays at 1. Decisions, decisions...Stevie Johnson IS active.
12:41-Bo Knows Techmo touts team Twitter feeds for relevant up to date information.
12:43-Commuication with Extreme Team to realize that washing machines flood basements and Extreme Team will be absent from League Meeting
12:53-Arrival of Supreme Being with Ron Mexico in tow. Ron Mexico contemplates victory since his opposition is about to arrive and is not in Guam.
1:01-GAME TIME!!!! Bo Knows Techmo orders pub fries...tasty
1:06-Arrival of bomb.com/yourmom. Entire league is aghast at near on-time arrival of bomb.com/yourmom, who is usually in bed at the start of Ravens' games.
1:15-Dallas scores...so what else is new? Ravens jump out to big lead.
1:20-Packers take the lead, but only after lots of time elapses. Commissioner wonders if Rodgers trade was worth it.
1:28-5 minutes after he scores, Adrian Peterson leaves field on a John Deere. Commissioner laments...
1:30-GAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZZ arrives (Never Nudes for those of you keeping track at home...you know you are)
1:33-Commissioner checks Vikings twitter feed to reveal that Peterson's return is "questionable" with ankle injury. League laughs...Commissioner laments again...
1:40-End of the first quarter, Ravens up big, Dallas winning, Oakland hammering Minny without AP, and Packers up on Bucs, but not exactly running away with it.
1:58-Redskins score a touchdown...A MEANINGFUL TOUCHDOWN!!! On a...wait for it...REX GROSSMAN SNEAK!
2:15: Arrival of Schooling the Field to League Meeting, everyone applauds shirt promoting dogfish head craft IPA.
2:16-Schooling the Field sees school colleague and visits. Since Commisioner holds day job in same location as Schooling the Field ans said colleage, he goes over and visits too.
2:26-THE REDSKINS ACTUALLY TAKE THE LEAD IN A FOOTBALL GAME! Jabar Gaffney scores it. Schooling the Field concedes defeat due to the presence of Aaron Rodgers.
2:30-League realizes that Kinda Runny is absent from League Meeting
2:31-League realizes that Kinda Runny is probably hung over
2:32-League realizes that Kinda Runny probably is not going to come to League Meeting
2:33-League Meeting resumes sans Kinda Runny
2:40-Departure of Unknown Quantity from League Meeting
3:05-Washington Sentinels miraculously is cured from his sinus ailment and arrives at League Meeting
3:10-Cowboys take a 24-17 lead...Redskins fans sense the inevitable. Cincinnati climbes to within 31-21 of Baltimore. Torrey Smith scores as Bo Knows Techmo laments benching.
3:12-Bomb.com/yourmom inquires Commissioner as to definition of a cut block. Using Supreme Being as a tackling dummy, Commissioner and Ron Mexico first demonstrate chop block, with Ron Mexico going low. Commissioner demonstrates legal cut block on Supreme Being. Bomb.com/yourmom feels more educated. Supreme Being is confused.
3:20-Never Nudes is still at League Meeting
3:30-Bengals cut Ravens lead to 31-24. Bucs attempt a 2-point play to tie Green Bay, but fail with Kellen Winslow drops the conversion pass in the endzone. League reminds onlookers that Kellen Winslow is a soldier........
3:48-Ravens survive...fans lament playing down to competition
3:55-Donte Stallworth scores to bring Redskins to within a point of Dallas. Commissioner fully expects 2-point conversion attempt for the win. Instead, fraidy cat PAT sends TMQ into a tizzy. Commissioner concedes defeat.
3:59-Packers survive as Rodgers tosses one more TD pass to Jordy Nelson, coming up 1 yard short of 300. Bomb.com/yourmom reminds commissioner why he hates yardage bonuses.
4:04-Redskins win OT coin toss. Commissioner concedes defeat yet again.
4:15-From 52...Graham GA-GA-GA-GA-GAAAAAAAAAANO GOOD!!!
4:23-On 3rd and 15, Romo to Dez for 22 and field goald range. Never Nudes only player at the table cheering for anybody on the Cowboys at this point. Ron Mexico and Supreme Being contemplate DeMarco Murray trade.
4:26-Dan Bailey..for the win. End League Meeting
Let's get to the match recaps. I'm sure Supreme Being will take issue with these minutes some how :-)
In the rivalry match that defined Rivalry Week, JP completed the season sweep of Supreme Being in the battle of the trade deadline deals. However, none of the major players in that trade really played a factor in this matchup as the big scores came from Alex Smith of all people and Rob Gronkowski. Supreme Being was doomed by negatives from the Tennessee defense and less than spectacular scores across the board from his charges. Now at 7-4, JP is in firm command of one of the two wild card spots...barring something happening that doomed him last season. Selective amnesia is a good thing in this case, right?
With the injury to Adrian Peterson, Patrick Deegan's fears of a whitewash ended up baseless. With AP's departure in the 2nd quarter, in spite of the Vikings twitter feed, any advantage gained by Aaron Rodgers was lost. After the 1PM block, Caputo's Corner held a tenuous 10 point lead, only to have that lead eclipsed and then some in the 4PM block thanks to 28 from Vincent Jackson. Deegan wins despate a bagel from Ryan Fitzpatrick and 23 from Gaffney to support the Commissioner. Now at 6-5, Deegan takes control of the division that nobody wants to win, for now, breaking the 3-way tie thanks to superior division record.
The other wild card spot firmly belongs to the Extreme Team in a battle of teams that failed to arrive at the League Meeting. Patrick Small is the first player to be mathematicallly eliminated at 2-9, 5 games back of the wild card with only 4 games left in the regular season. As for Tom, he seemed more interested in critiquing the deadline deal between JP and the Commish, basically granting himself the second wild card spot thanks to JP's unloading of Aaron Rodgers to the Commish for Beanie Wells and Matt Ryan. Must have been the honeymoon, right Tom? As for his opposition, Tom wonders if Kinda Runny means just a bad night of Chinese...
Elsewhere in the league, Zach reasserts himself as king of the heap backing up last week's surprise defeat to KSo with a 22 point win over Jeff. Ron Mexico has a magic number of 4 to clinch the Greene Turtles division and the league's best record. Zach is debating whether or not to pull his starters in advance of the playoffs. As for Jeff, the loss leaves him in the group at 6-5 one game back from the last wild card spot held by JP and Tom. Jeff gets a shot at one of the two in his second matchup with JP next week. Jeff informally concedes his division title to Zach in the process.
KSo...yes, that's right, KSo is now above .500 for the first time in MIISFFL history with a solid 39 point drubbing of Sean. Usually KSo is on the other end of these things. Now he is firmly in the playoff picture, tied for the Pub Dogs lead with Patrick Deegan at 6-5 and only 1 game out of the wild card spots. Who would have thought after abyssmal performances in the last two seasons that KSo would be in it this late into the season? Hey, if the Lions can play a game on Thanksgiving that matters........
Finally today, the beatdown of the week goes to Gaz who humbled Matt by nearly 70 points. 3 TD passes from Romo and a big game from waiver wire wizard Victor Cruz led the way. As for Matt, it was more of the same as another big projected weekly total (114) goes up in smoke (73). Now at 4-7, Matt is all but finished 3 games back of the wild card and 2 games out of the division. Time is running out, but it's never too late to start evaluating the quarterback talent in the draft. Andrew Luck, Matt Barkley, and Landry Jones, you're all on deck.
That's a wrap on this special LEAGUE MEETING edition of the Mashup. We are now firmly in the homestretch of the season as we feature all divisional matchups for the rest of the way. Let's take a look at who we got in week 12:
Kent-Tom (Tom goes for the Wild Card, Kent looks to end his season respectably)
Nick-Gaz (Last gasp for the Commish in a rematch of the basement bowl from week 3)
KSo-Patrick Deegan (KSo plays for the division lead...who knew??)
Zach-Patrick (Bye week for Zach)
Sean-Matt (Is it better to win or lose this game?)
JP-Jeff (JP looks to hold onto the wild card that Jeff is looking to take away)
Great matchups all around next week, well, except for Ron Mexico and Kinda Runny...nah, even that's a good matchup. Remember that KSo upset the top dog 2 weeks ago, so anything is possible!
Till next week, this is your commissioner of MIISFFL!
No comments:
Post a Comment