Designated Driving...not exactly a raw deal

As I said in my no-post post, I went out last night to Howl at the Moon in Baltimore for Abby's birthday.  Howl has historically been a place where stories of legend have been written.  Last night was no exception as Abby got to go on stage for not one, but two songs for her birthday (The Power of Love and More than a Feeling...a couple of fine choices if I do say so myself).  Dueling pianos make 70s and 80s music sound so much better...but I digress.  This piece is not on the merits of piano bars, 80s music, birthdays, or even Baltimore.  Last night, I happily volunteered to be designated driver for a bunch of happy backseat campers who imbibed to there hearts' content on Yuengling, Bud Light, Heineken, and a wide assortment of fruity specialty drinks that come in oddly shaped containers and 86-ounce buckets.  What did I drink, you ask?  Aside from a couple of beers I had at the Greene Turtle well before we went to Baltimore, I just drank water.  Wow, Nick...lammmmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeee.  Ah, but your definition of lame must be different than mine, because if what I did last night was lame, then well...I'll be lame every day and twice on Sunday.  Allow me to explain. 

The most tangible benefits of designated driving are definitely financial.  Friends take care of their drivers don't you know.  I had my dinner, cover charge, and parking fees all paid for by the aforementioned backseat campers.  Meanwhile, I did not spend a single dime on alcohol (after the Greene Turtle of course).  As some of you might know, drinking in the city can be a quite pricy proposition.  Beers run for about $4 for a Bud in a bottle...it's even worse in DC.  Hard drinks are more, and I don't even want to think about what it would cost for one of those buckets.  If you have ever been to Howl yourself, you also know that it is a place where you can very easily spend money on lots of other things besides alcohol.  Everything in there costs money.  As I have found out the hard way before, words of the day, song requests, tips, and yes the booze can jack up the cost of a tab reallllllllllllly fast.  In the past, I have dropped more money than I care to remember changing words of the day and getting the piano man to play Hail to the Redskins from start to finish.  By the time you walk out of there, you are kicking yourself saying "how did I end up spending so much?"  Ah but that was in the past, folks. 

Speaking of the music, I let the other bar patrons spend the money on Hail to the Redskins (and other teams' fight songs........) and when they played it, of course I bellowed it out.  Just because they might chide you every now and then for not having a drink in your hand, there is nothing at all that is stopping you from singing along with the music and getting into the atmosphere.  I must say, those piano players are very good.  They learn all of these songs (old and new alike) and play them essentially by ear.  I wonder how often they practice.  At the same time, you can laugh at most of the patrons gettting on stage (birthdays, bachelorette parties, etc.) knowing that you will not be one of them.  One bachelorette even got up there with a drink in her hand and the bouncer had to...er...confiscate that.  Apparently you can drink to your heart's content, just not on stage.  Beats me.  It was also quite enjoyable to observe the dynamic between the Ravens fans in the bar and the smattering of Steeler fans (our waitress included) brave enough to enter a Baltimore night fresh off of their playoff victory. 

Needless to say, I had a great time, but let me get serious for a quick minute.  We can make jokes about drunks dancing on stage (and Kent giving me a pharmaceutical analysis of Snoop Dogg's "Gin and Juice") all we want, but what is the point here?  You drive impaired, you are putting yourself at risk, the people in your car at risk, and you put everyone else on the road at risk.  You have to ask yourself, especially in a city like Baltimore, is it really worth the risk of having some drinks, not totally having your wits about you, and then getting behind the wheel of a car?  In my mind, the answer is no...never.  My safety and my friends' safety is and will always be my number one priority...no matter what flack I may get for not drinking.  For that reason I will ALWAYS volunteer to be a DD on nights when we go out on the town.  Nobody has to draw the short straw.  There doesn't have to be a rotation system.  If I'm in the group, I will always offer myself to drive, and unless somebody else has a REALLY strong desire to do the same, I will drive sober and with a smile on my face.  As far as I'm concerned, it is common sense, and hopefully by reading this you will see that...it really isn't so bad.  In fact, it can even be quite profitable!